Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker
UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author
Do you think you don’t have time to relax?
I know what you mean.
Life is so hectic, with stress flying in all directions, that the thought of taking 10 or 20 minutes out to relax seems like madness.
Yet it’s a proven fact that:
A relaxed mind is a creative mind.
So if you’ve got a to-do list as long as your arm, perhaps the best thing you could do would be to start off with 20 minutes of deep relaxation.
It might seem strange, but spending that 20 minutes will actually buy you more time.
Most of us are so used to passing comment about everything and everyone around us that we don’t even notice we’re doing it.
And if we were to notice, we’d probably just laugh it off, with a slightly guilty conscience.
Find out why it’s a seriously risky business.
Yet passing judgment on others gives our unconscious mind a dangerously negative message.
It’s a fact of life: most of us are walking round passing judgement and commenting on the world around us.
Even reading newspaper or magazine that’s judging celebrities, for example, is giving our unconscious mind the message that you have to look or behave in a certain way, in order to be accepted.
Whether it’s commenting on someone else’s clothes or the state of the cafe where we grab a coffee, we’re passing judgement and it’s usually not pretty…
It’s partly a cultural thing and partly a product of our upbringing that gives us this habit. And some of us have it worse than others.
There are two major risks with running this one:
The thing is that our unconscious mind doesn’t pay attention to whether we’re talking about the person in the street or ourselves. It just pays attention to the emotions behind the message.
So it quickly learns that being accepted or loved is dependent on us being a projection of who we think others want us to be – whether that’s accurate or not.
Yet have you ever noticed people who are genuinely “happy in their own skin” are those who attract friends like a magnet? They radiate a confidence and a level of self-acceptance that makes it easy to be around them. It’s as though they are so happy with who they are, so able to see the positive aspects, that they act as a mirror to us of those qualities in ourselves.
So believing we have to be someone who we aren’t, in order to be liked, is a recipe for disaster.
Yet being who we truly are can be one of the greatest challenges we’ll ever face.
And it’s a life-long journey, peeling away the layers of the onion, releasing the limiting beliefs that are holding us back, each time discovering anew who we truly are – and how amazing that person is.
And one of the simplest steps towards that goal is to let go of judging others – and ourselves.
Turning down the volume on our inner critic; letting go of the need to find fault; looking for the good in people, places and situations, rather than having an eagle eye for their mistakes.
And taking this one thought at a time is the easiest way to start.
Playing with this for even just 3 days and it could literally change your life.
Want to give it a try?
Positive Thinking: discover why it’s not all about being Pollyanna and pretending everything is ok. Find out why High-Impact Positive Thinking can change your life – fast.
Positive thinking gets bad press.
For most of us it conjures up Pollyanna-style nightmares of saccharine-sweet, well-meaning people, grinning wildly, just inches from your face, telling you that “everything will be fine”, in the middle of a life crisis.
But positive thinking isn’t about pretending that everything is alright. It’s not about telling ourselves lies. It’s not about ignoring what’s going on around us.
Positive Thinking is about understanding that whatever we’re thinking about creates the filter through which we see the world.
So rose-tinted glasses make it easier to spot the good things around us, no matter what’s going on. Whilst black storm cloud glasses mean doom and gloom pervades.
And there’s another catch…
Ever noticed how, if your day starts badly, it goes downhill fast? But if your day starts well, with sunshine and smiles, it generally goes well? That’s because…
We get what we think about.
It’s as though we literally attract experiences that match whatever is on our mind. So if we expect something to go badly or someone to be rude to us, chances are that’s what we’ll experience. But if we expect things to go well and keep our thought patterns running positively, we’ll have a much better day.
So positive thinking seems to be a good idea?
It’s all very well being told that we need to think positive things, but if most of us were to monitor our thoughts for just an hour, we’d probably be shocked at how many of them are grumpy or negative. So how do we make the shift to thinking more positively?
That’s what “High-Impact Positive Thinking” is all about.
It’s a set of strategies and tools that help you make the shift from wherever you are right now to thinking more positively, feeling happier and enjoying life more – whatever is going on around you.
I’ll be writing more about High-Impact Positive Thinking over the coming weeks and months. So if you want to make sure you catch the articles, videos and podcasts on the topic, make sure you’re getting our regular newsletter by signing up in the top right hand corner of the How To Feel Happier home page!
Thanks,
Founder, How To Feel Happier
It’s still that time of year when New Year Resolutions are in the air. Maybe we’re doing well or maybe we’ve given up on them entirely. But either way, it got me to wondering how long it takes to break a habit.
It would seem that everyone has a different opinion on this one.
Some experts say it’s 21 days. 21 days is almost accepted as fact.
Last weekend I was listening to a CD by an expert in the personal development field who claimed it was 7 days.
And I’ve defnitely read plenty of opinion that says the real figure is months, not days or weeks.
So how do you know when you’ve broken a habit? [Read more…] about How Long Does It Take To Break A Habit?
NLP?
Neurolinguistic Programming?
Chances are most of us have heard of it. Some of us might even have had an overview seminar about it at work. But what is it really and why should we care?
Although more people than ever have heard of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, most people we meet look at us blankly and end up asking “what is NLP?”
So, here goes!
Have you ever had the experience of a meeting that went particularly well, or a project that met every deadline and criteria? And yet there are times when it just doesn’t go as well?
NLP is like a switch you can flick, to make sure your successes become your new standard. It gives you an understanding of what made the difference in those situations and what the critical changes are, which would mean you can always perform to that level.
NLP-based training addresses the fundamentals of how we think, feel and behave; imagine the wide-reaching impact it can have on a person’s performance.
The jargon of the name “NLP” gives the wrong impression.
NLP stands for “Neuro-Linguistic Programming”. It’s about how the way we think influences our behaviour and hence performance.
NLP is actually a set of simple, yet highly effective, tools and techniques that help us work with our subconscious mind. It’s an outstanding personal development tool.
It has its roots in psychology and the study of excellence. It was born 30 years ago from the work of Richard Bandler (a mathematician) and John Grinder (a linguist), who studied some of the world’s greatest communicators.
Their research identified not only the elements that made the critical difference, but also how to teach these vital skills to others, to help them unlock their true potential.
NLP helps us identify the critical differences between people who excel and those who are just “getting by” in the way they communicate, influence, lead, motivate and succeed.
Don’t think of a pink elephant in a red tree.
What happened? You thought of an elephant in a tree? Even though the instruction was not to?
If you tell your brain not to do something, first you have to imagine actually doing it, which makes you more likely to get what you don’t want. This illustrates why we need to learn how to communicate with our subconscious mind – the bit that does all the “auto-pilot” stuff for us. Without this communication channel, we’re almost leaving success to chance.
NLP-based training can help you find out how you communicate with yourself and others – and how this affects your performance.
You will then discover how to change the things that aren’t working, whilst polishing the strategies that you want to keep.
When you know how to work with your subconscious mind, you can start to experience your true potential and break free of old thought patterns or habits that have been holding you back.
By learning how to manage our thoughts, emotions and actions, we can excel at whatever we do.
It’s all very well having someone else witter on about how to feel happier, but nobody has all the answers.
And although I’ve discovered plenty of useful happiness techniques and tips over the last few years, I’m always up for learning more.
The thing is that all of us know, deep down, how to feel happier. It’s just that we’re good at forgetting it.
One of the reasons I run How To Feel Happier is to provide inspiration for when people are stuck.
Here are some of my personal favourite ways to feel happier:
- Go for a walk outside and stamp my feet, to get rid of the frustration!
- Imagine it’s a really sunny day.
- Listen to a piece of music (loudly!) that always cheers me up – and dance, too 😉
- Get back “in the moment”, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Playing with my boys and giving them 100% of my attention is a great way to do this.
- Eat chocolate – I’m only human…!
And I was wondering if you’d like to get sharing?
What are your favourite happiness quick fixes?
What do you do, think or say when you want to feel happier?
And how do you inspire others to feel happier?
Please feel free to share via the comments box, below. Thank you!
Clare x
Chief Happiness Experimenter for How To Feel Happier.
