Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker

UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author

advent calendar articles

Want To Give Gorgeous Christmas Gifts, But Your Budget Won’t Stretch? Here Are Some Ideas.

Inspirational Messages

Welcome to your De-Stress Your Christmas Advent Calendar count-down – day 18.

Today we’re looking at finding a solution to feeling broke – but still wanting to give people fabulous Christmas gifts.

It’s that all-too-familiar feeling – knowing you want to splurge to show people how much you love them, but also knowing you don’t want to wake up with a massive financial hangover in January.

The shops are overflowing with beautifully-packaged gifts and glitzy websites promise your loved-ones instant happiness, if only you click the ‘add to cart’ button and let them ship you yet another expensive must-have.

Resisting the temptation can feel hard.

So here are some ideas to help you – and I want to start with a ‘duh!’ moment reminder:

If anyone judges you for the gift you give them, it says more about them than about you.

Some quick tips:

  • Are areas where you could cut back without anyone noticing, so you can more easily afford those special treats?
  • Could you manage people’s expectations? And remember: “failing” to “keep up with the Joneses” is less embarrassing than having the extreme of those same neighbours seeing a bailiff pop round, come the spring…
  • Could you set yourself a budget to help you get more creative and get maximum value for your money?
  • Could you make some of the gifts, instead of buying them? You don’t have to be super-creative – and the internet is full of ideas.
  • Could you come up with ideas that don’t cost cash – for example a voucher for a baby-sitting evening? Or an offer to clean the car once a month? Or a voucher for a home-cooked candlelit dinner? Or a voucher for an afternoon of gardening? You know who you are giving to – I’m quite sure there would be things they would love that wouldn’t cost you physical cash. And it might mean much more to them than an impulse-buy from a shop shelf.

A simple gift, chosen with love and given from the heart, will mean more than a glitzy gift, once the Christmas fuss has died down.

It’s Not About How Much You Spend.
It’s about the love that goes into choosing the present…

Try not to get trapped in the stress of “but I’ve given so-and-so something worth that much and I now have to buy something for their partner, worth the same amount.”

It’s not a competition.

Buy your gift (or make it!) with love and forget about the price. It’s the love that counts.

And if it doesn’t for that person, you probably shouldn’t be buying them a present anyway…

I’m curious: how could you find a way around this? Are you stuck in the not-enough-budget trap? Whose expectations have you been trying to fulfil? Here’s where to share:

Click to share your answers on Facebook

Being cheeky – how about helping them to change their life?

arrow-no-bgI’m being really cheeky here – but I’ve written some books that people tell me have helped them to really create shifts in their lives – and that is one of the most potent gifts you can share with someone.
Books really pack a punch on the value-for-money scale. Here’s where you can find mine – and there’s still time to get them delivered before Christmas: Clare Josa’s Books
If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.

See you tomorrow with Day 19!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Do You Need To Know The Truth About Christmas Stress? (Rotten Tomatoes Alert…)

Inspirational Messages

Today we’re diving in and looking at a little-admitted truth about Christmas stress…
And it goes so much further than just Christmas…

Believe me, I’ve been there with Christmas stress. I’ve got the proverbial reindeer t-shirt and I’ve worn the Christmas stress party cracker hat. I KNOW how to do Christmas stress.

But there’s a problem.

You see, Christmas stress doesn’t actually exist.

It is – literally – a figment of your imagination.

(That was the cue for the rotten tomatoes).

Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying:

“No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.”

And the same goes for stress.

No one but you can make you feel stressed.

Let’s just press pause on the raging inner dialogue that your mind is throwing my way now, just for a moment! When you ‘get’ this, it will set you free – it’s like a magic wand.

Nothing and no one can actually MAKE you feel stressed. It is always a choice. Yes, stuff can provoke you. But how to respond is always within your control.

Let’s try it on for size: What MAKES you stressed at Christmas? Then read on!

I’m curious: what MAKES you stressed at Christmas? Here’s where to share:

Click to share your answers on Facebook

So let’s try that list on for size…

What MAKES you stressed?

  • Brussels sprouts are going to struggle to achieve it.
  • The Christmas tree will find it hard work.
  • Inanimate objects like Christmas cards and wrapping paper find it especially challenging.

I’m guessing that there’s nothing in your list that can physically get into your head and press the ‘stressed out’ button. Someone else is doing it. And, yes, you guessed it, that someone else is currently reading this article.

More rotten tomatoes.

Yet that’s how we talk about it:
“Finding a present for Uncle Tom is making me so stressed!”

Sure, other people can give us plenty of ammunition, but at the end of the day, it’s always our choice, how to react.
For some, that statement is obvious and intuitive, whilst for others it might be like running into a brick wall.

But it’s a fact of life:

If you’re feeling stressed, you’re doing it to yourself.

arrow-no-bgAnd the great news is that it means you can undo it too. If you need some extra help with this, here’s an article I wrote for you about your monkey mind – and what you can do about it: Is Your Monkey Mind Telling You The Truth About Stress?
It’s well worth 3 minutes of your time to read it.

If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.

See you tomorrow with Day 15!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Day 9 ~ If What You’re Doing Isn’t Working… How To Avoid The First Signs Of Christmas Insanity

Inspirational Messages

Today we’re looking at a habit that Einstein once said was the first sign of insanity, yet most of us do it during the Holiday Season!

Do you keep doing the same thing, but expecting different results?

It always makes me giggle whenever I go to London and see foreign visitors following someone who has used an Oyster card through the underground barriers.
The visitor will invariably watch the Oyster card user in front of them carefully, then take their manual tube ticket and place it on the Oyster card reader, expecting the barrier to let them through.
When it doesn’t, they look confused and try again.
Only when someone comes to offer help do they learn that their ticket goes into the slot on the front of the barrier instead.

What they were doing wasn’t working, but they kept on doing it. And we all do it!

We even have a saying about it:
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.”

But that only works if you get flexible.

If what you’re doing isn’t working and you keep doing it, it’s likely to keep not working.

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is clearly not rational, but it’s something we’re all very good at. And when it comes to times like Christmas, we often end up unconsciously repeating the very behaviour that caused things to go wrong last year – but hoping for different results.

The bottom line is: if you keep doing the same things, you’ll keep getting the same results.

If everyone threw a tantrum because they hated sprouts last year, chances are they’ll do it again this year.

If you didn’t enjoy Christmas last year because you didn’t voice your needs and just expected people to magically guess what they were and meet them, what might happen again this year?

If you collapsed, exhausted, on Christmas Eve, just wishing it could all be over because you didn’t let enough people help you, then that’s what you are likely to experience again this year – unless you do something different!

If what you’re doing isn’t working, try doing something different…

Go on, I dare you!

It might not be as scary as you think.

I’m curious: where in your life can you see yourself running this pattern? Which changes could you make – today – and what impact might they have? Here’s where to share:

Click to share your answers on Facebook

Want Some Extra Help? Want To FINALLY Break That Habit Next Year?

arrow-no-bgIf you want to make breaking that old habit one of your New Year Resolutions, you might want to join me for the webinar I’m running to help you make your New Year Resolutions ROCK this year: Masterclass: Why New Year Resolutions Don’ Work – And What You Can Do Instead.
If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.

See you tomorrow with Day 10!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Day 7 – Are You Eating Yourself Miserable This Christmas?

Articles

Day 7 – Are You Eating Yourself Miserable?

Welcome to your De-Stress Your Christmas Advent Calendar count-down – day 5! Today we’re looking at how what you’re eating can have a massive impact on your emotions.

Is What You’re Eating Trashing Your Christmas Spirit?

It’s Christmas, so obviously you’re going to want to enjoy your food, but if you notice you’re getting really sluggish, feeling stressed and generally down, then it might be nothing to do with your head. Here are 5 common food traps that might end up wrecking your mood.

Trap 1: Sugar

Reaching for something sweet when we’re feeling low is so instinctive; you’d almost think it’s hard-wired.
Carbohydrates and refined sugars will give us a short-term boost, but the blood sugar low we get afterwards can lead to mood swings and even tantrums in kids.

What you could do instead?
University researchers have shown that cravings for sweet foods, particularly the late night munchies, are actually cravings for water – we’re not very good at reading the signs.

To balance your blood sugar, half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder each day can help.

Trap 2: Caffeine

It’s in coffee, tea, cola drinks and plenty more besides. Caffeine is a stimulant that can take us into “fight or flight” mode, making us edgy and irritable. So if you’re already stressed or angry, it’s the last thing you need.

What you could do instead?
To rehydrate your system and give yourself an instant energy boost, a glass of cool water could make a difference. If you’re feeling tense and irritable, you might prefer camomile tea. And, of course, there’s breathing – take 3 deep breaths, breathing in through your nose. Fill your lungs from your stomach upwards and then breathe out through your mouth with a sigh. It works!

Trap 3: Sweeteners & Additives

We think we’re doing the right thing by going for the low-cal, low-fat options, but they have to do something to replace the taste and texture you’d have had from the sugars and fats. Unfortunately this is often in the form of sweeteners and chemical additives.
The various food agencies have approved their use, but there is growing research evidence that they can impact your mood.
One of the leading artificial sweeteners is now official linked with mood swings and even depression, for regular users. And we’ve known for years that the infamous “e-numbers” can cause behavioural problems in children.

What you could do instead?
Check labels in the supermarket. As a rule of thumb, if there’s an ingredient on the list that you wouldn’t cook with at home, think twice before putting it into your basket.
Consider buying the non-diet versions, but eating less of them…

Trap 4: Alcohol

How many times do we get to the end of a tough day and think, “I could really do with a glass of wine / a beer?”
And there has been research showing that some alcoholic drinks can have health benefits, in moderation.
But alcohol itself is a toxin to the body. And even in just moderate quantities, it’s also a depressant that suppresses brain activity and dehydrates your body. So if you want to feel happier, a stiff drink is probably not the best place to start.

What you could do instead?
Drink a glass of water between each alcoholic drink, to reduce your thirst and help your liver and kidneys process the alcohol. And it might be worth taking an honest look in the mirror, to see whether there are underlying issues you might need to address.

Trap 5: Wheat & dairy

Wheat and dairy products are fine for most people, in moderation. But if you have a food intolerance, you might find that the side effects of bloating and heaviness drag your mood down, too. So if you naturally reach for wheat-based or dairy-based comfort foods, it might be worth noticing how you feel afterwards.

What you could do instead?
Check you’re not suffering from low blood sugar (see trap 1 advice). And if you think it might be a boredom thing, how about spending 5 minutes waking up your body with some stretches, a quick dance or a short walk instead?

Bonus Tip: Drink Extra Water

Most of us don’t drink nearly enough water.
Your liver and kidneys might need extra during the Holiday Season, to help them detox the extra load they’re dealing with.

So make sure you’re getting your 2 litres a day. Sip it, rather than gulp it (imagine what happens when you water a dry plant pot – that is the same if you down a pint of water when you’re dehydrated – it goes right through!). You’ll be amazed by the difference it could make.

How do you know if you’re stuck in the food traps?

You could keep a “food ‘n’ mood” diary for 2 weeks.

Simply keep a note of EVERYTHING you’re eating and drinking (no cheating!) and every few hours, make a note of your mood next to it. After a week you should be able to spot clear trends.

That’ll help you figure out what to eat differently, if you want to feel happier.

arrow-no-bgAnd if you’d like to make eating more healthily one of your New Year Resolutions, you might want to join me for the webinar I’m running to help you make your New Year Resolutions ROCK this year: Masterclass: Why New Year Resolutions Don’ Work – And What You Can Do Instead. It’s all about how to make next year your Best Year Yet.

I’d love to know what your personal Christmas food traps are. Here’s where to share:

Click to share your answers on Facebook

Want Some Extra Help? Make Friends With Omegas

Omega oils can be a brilliant anti-stress device.

There’s a proven link between Omega oils and brain function.
Most of us are already low on these essential nutrients and party season is a time when we need them most.

Omega 3 is particularly good at balancing our emotions.

So to keep yourself feeling good, you might want to consider supplementing your diet.

Talk to an expert at your local health food shop or a holistic nutritionist for advice.

If dealing with your emotions is a roller coaster for you, then help is at hand.

Join my online Kickstart Course: Master Your Emotions and you could get off the emotional roller coaster in the next 14 days – in just 5 minutes a day. I’d be honoured to share the journey with you!
If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.
What are your secret time-stealers?
And what are you going to do about them?

See you tomorrow with Day 6!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Day 4 – Are You Too Busy Dreaming Of A Fairy Tale Christmas?

Articles

Day 4 – Do You Really Need A Fairy Tale Christmas?

Welcome to your De-Stress Your Christmas Advent Calendar count-down – day 4! Today we’re looking at how setting your sights too high can lead to stress and not enjoying your Christmas.

Are your expectations secretly cranking up your Christmas Stress?

The television and magazines often portray images of family Christmases where everyone gathers round the tree, singing carols, and the food miraculously appears from the direction of the kitchen, as though prepared by house elves.

And if you run through the virtual book of images in your mind about how you would love Christmas to feel, chances are there are some really strong expectations running. You probably have a really clear idea of how you want Christmas to be.

But it rarely works out that way.

So many things are beyond our control. You can’t force it to snow. You can’t force Uncle Jim to behave the way you want. You can’t force the kids not to fight over the new toy.

How to spot whether you’re falling into this trap?
Click here to share on Facebook

Is your Christmas full of ‘shoulds’?

Describe how you want Christmas to be this year and ask yourself:

“Is my Christmas full of ‘shoulds’?”

As soon as you spot a ‘should’, there’s an expectation.

Then: for each ‘should’, is it actually something you can control?

Yes? Great! Then do something positive about it 🙂

If not, you need to let it go. Or you’ll end up feeling stressed, miserable and disappointed.

The key to setting yourself free from this stress is to learn how to accept the things you can’t change.

Yes, if something is unacceptable, you can take constructive action. But if it’s really beyond your control, then you’re more likely to give yourself an ulcer through stress than to be able to change it.

So my invitation to you this Christmas is to tell yourself:

“Everything is ok, even if it goes wrong. And that’s ok.”

Just accept what happens. Change what you can. Let go of what you can’t.

And breathe!

One of the most challenging aspects of Christmas can be our nearest and dearest – and their behaviour is one of the things over which we have least control. Want a solution?
Click here to share on Facebook

Really Had Enough Of Annoying People At Christmas?

Click here to read the article and this little-known ‘how to’.

If you’ve had enough of dealing with annoying people, then you’ll love this simple 3-step process to set yourself free.

I was inspired to create it by being on the receiving end of some appalling customer service, but you can apply it to anyone who is getting on your nerves.
I hope it helps!

How To Handle Annoying People Without Losing Your Cool – In Under Sixty Seconds
If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.
What are your secret time-stealers?
And what are you going to do about them?

See you tomorrow with Day 5, when we’ll be looking at whether you’re eating yourself miserable!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Day 3 – Discover Your Secret Christmas Time-Stealers – And They Might Not Be What You Think

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Day 3 – Discover Your Secret Christmas Time-Stealers – And They Might Not Be What You Think

Welcome to your De-Stress Your Christmas Advent Calendar count-down – day 3! Today we’re looking at what steals your time at Christmas.

Time stealers rarely come with the warning they deserve. How could you spot yours this Christmas?

You’re in the middle of Christmas preparations and the phone rings. Half an hour later the kids demand a snack, then you spot the ironing, a few unpaid bills and catch up on your emails or Facebook. Before you know it the day has gone.

Time stealers tend, instead, to sneak up on us without us realising, overstaying their welcome and rarely saying thank you for the care we lavished on them.

And they might not be physical interruptions. They can be as simple as getting lost on BuzzFeed or catching up with your Facebook friends – and suddenly not just minutes, but an hour has disappeared.

No one is suggesting that the kids should stay hungry or that bills should fester. But you can be clever about how you manage these interruptions.

Sometimes delaying dealing with them for just 10 minutes can give you the space to finish a job and cut your stress levels.

Sometimes having set times each day to deal with emails / bills / phone calls can be a useful tactic.

A bit of planning can have a huge impact.

Each of us will have developed ways we can squeeze these kinds of jobs, to get on with the “real stuff”.

What could you do today, to reduce the impact of your regular time stealers?

How about keeping a mental note, just for the next few hours, and noticing what is stealing your time? It might not be what you think!

What are your biggest time-stealers?

And how might you handle them, this Christmas?

Click to share the questions on Facebook

And Here’s Why Christmas Multi-Tasking Might Be Your Worst Enemy

Ok, I have to confess that I am terrible at this one. Or rather I’m great at it, which is the real problem.

I’m a champion juggler, when it comes to my to-do list. You could even call me a grasshopper (and people have), as I jump from one thing to the next, whilst balancing the previous thing on one foot.

I love starting jobs, but I get very little satisfaction from finishing them. But not finishing things off does cause me stress…

I’m very fortunate to know some wonderful people who are amazing at what psychologists call being a “completer-finisher” – in other words they get deep satisfaction from completing a project. So I’ve been able to see how much difference it can make to stress levels.

At Christmas, when you’re likely to be taking multi-tasking to near-Olympic gold medal heights, finishing tasks is vital.

That means wrapping up the final present and then putting the paper away.

That means writing that final Christmas card address on the envelope and actually posting it, rather than leaving it lurking guiltily in a drawer, till January.

The opposite of multi-tasking is finishing one job before you start the next.

It might feel boring, but you’ll quick learn to love the release you feel as you let the completed task go and tick it off your list. In fact, it stops you from ‘spinning that plate’ – it stops the task from draining your energy and you know it’s done – you don’t have to think about it any more.

Nothing beats the satisfaction of 
ticking a job off a list.

Confession: do you ever ADD anything to a list that you have already done, just so you can tick it off? I do… 😉

It’s about being present in the ‘here and now’, rather than doing one thing while thinking about the next.

It’s about laser-focus. It’s about efficiency.
It’s ultimately about de-stressing!
And it’s only for Christmas, after all!
If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.
What are your secret time-stealers?
And what are you going to do about them?

See you tomorrow with Day 4!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

P.S. If stress is a big thing for you, then you might want to check out my Master Your Emotions Kickstart course. It has already helped many people, just like you, to get a handle on their stress levels and to get off the emotional rollercoaster.

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