We’ve all got them.
All the reasons why we can’t meditate.
We don’t have time.
We’re too tired.
There’s too much to do.
It doesn’t “work” for us.
But what if we could see meditation as a solution, to help us get more done, rather than an obligation that takes up time?
It is said that meditation and prayer are two sides of the same coin.
When Archbishop Desmond Tutu was asked how long he prays every day, it is said he answered:
“I am so busy, if I want to get everything done, I cannot pray for less than 2 hours per day.”
This one stopped me in my tracks.
I’m guessing that, although I feel I’m really busy, someone like Desmond Tutu might be just a teeny bit busier?
And he says he can’t get it all done, without that meditative prayer space?
Time to review my excuses!
The 3 stages of meditation help us see how meditating more could achieve the results implied by Desmond Tutu’s answer.
Relaxation
If we’re tense, we can’t meditate.
Being more physically, mentally and emotionally relaxed helps us think more clearly and – surprise, surprise- get more done.
Concentration
Meditation is about being able to hold our focus on something (or nothing!), while the mind does whatever it likes in the background. That’s how we can come to a place of inner peace, when the world around us is full of noise and busy-ness.
Being focused helps tame our distractable, “grasshopper mind” to pay attention to the present moment. Being aware, concentrating and focusing on what we’re doing dramatically cuts down the time we waste, without realising, every day.
Meditation
The act of meditating brings us back into the present moment.
It helps us connect with our inner wisdom.
It helps us release attachments and dissolve denial, so we can see the Truth of a situation, rather than our projection.
It gets us back in flow with our Higher energies and helps life unfold before us, with less effort and less pain.
Easy to see how this could help us get more “done” with less “doing”.
So I’m off to practice “being” for a while, whilst this message settles for me.
Then I’ll see how much more I achieve today!
You don't have to turn your legs into a pretzel, to be able to meditate
What are your favourite meditation excuses?
How could you perhaps find the time to slot in a little more space to “be” today?
What would it take for you to make that commitment to yourself?
Is there support you need? Who might you ask for help?
I was working with a client recently who is talented, quick-thinking and highly motivated, but also feeling miserable, frustrated and stressed.
It didn’t take much probing to discover that an out-of-date belief of “life has to be hard work” was causing much of the problem.
What we believe is what we get.
The thing is that our beliefs are like choices that get stuck in time. Once we’ve made them, instead of setting us free, they close the doors to other choices – to other responses.
That’s why even a so-called “empowering belief” is limiting. When things change, then even that old empowering belief could hold you back from your growth and expansion!
So if a “good” belief can do that, just imagine how much a “bad” one can do!
The great news is that we can change our beliefs.
They’re far from being set in stone.
There are techniques we can use to dissolve away the old belief and choose more flexibility and freedom in our life.
So if you catch yourself doing, saying ot thinking something that no longer “fits” for you today, all you need to do is catch yourself at this game and allow yourself to choose another option.
Have you ever spotted your beliefs holding you back? How about sharing your experiences via the comments, below?
“Seeking happiness outside ourselves is like waiting for sunshine in a cave facing north.“
Tibetan saying
One of the most difficult habits to break is that of looking for happiness outside ourselves.
It might be expecting someone else to behave in a certain way, so we can feel happy. It might be thinking we’ll feel happier when we’ve got the new car, the promotion, the bigger house, the new dress.
The problem?
None of these things are within our control.
And if our happiness depends on something outside of us, then it’s easily shattered.
The other problem?
By waiting for something or someone else to do something or be someone that we can’t influence, then we’re putting ourselves in the position of victim – a passive experiencer of life.
The answer?
The only way we can truly feel happy is to put ourselves back in a position of active choice.
Whatever our circumstances, whatever our environment, whatever happens, the only thing we can impact is how we choose to respond.
And that’s where we can choose to feel happier – in every moment, with every thought, with every breath, with every word.
Our happiness is there inside us, waiting for us to let it out to play!
Got comments on this one? How about sharing via the comments box, below?
Self-esteem is the cornerstone for feeling happier. Without it, any happiness we experience will usually be dependent on things we can’t control – like how others behave and what goes on in the world around us.
But nobody teaches us how to have self-esteem. So how do we go about getting some?
Strengthening our sense of self-worth can often be a challenging journey. We’re trying to break habits we’ve been developing since our early years.
So, to help along the way, and hopefully provide some inspiration, here are 7 of my favourite musings on self-esteem.
“How you treat yourself is how others will treat you.“
If you don’t look after yourself, the outside world will spot it – and make assumptions about how you want to be treated. “Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you,” might make a good motto?
“No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.“ Eleanor Roosevelt.
I throw this one back at myself, every time I catch myself grumbling about something someone else has said or done to upset me – and it works! It’s about taking back your personal power and accepting responsibility for how you feel.
“Only you can make the decision on how bad you’re going to feel.“
And while we’re on the topic of choosing how we feel, we’re the only ones who can decide how deep that trough goes!
“All criticism is borne of someone else’s pain.“ Native American saying.
If someone has a go at you, it’s because they’re hurting inside and don’t want to face it. Think about it, when we’re in a happy mood, full of sunshine and smiles, we don’t go around criticising others, do we? So that’s a great excuse not to take it personally…
“Don’t bother waiting for others to respect you.“
If you wait for others to respect you, you’ll have a long wait. People pick up a lack of self-respect just like a dog can sniff out fear. And it’s tough to earn others’ respect if you haven’t yet given it to yourself yet.
“Forgiveness is the key to feeling good.“
Holding on to resentment and anger keeps you trapped in the pattern of negative emotions that leaves you feeling bad. Forgiving the other person for their behaviour doesn’t mean letting them off. It’s about setting yourself free from the pain and moving on. And remember, the last one we get round to forgiving is ourself.
“Self-respect is about acting with integrity.“
It’s not about how you look, how clever you are or how great your job is. Self-respect is about being able to fall asleep at night with a clear conscience; knowing you have acted with integrity, kindness and compassion during your day; knowing you were true to who you really are.
What are your top tips and secret strategies for self-esteem? How about sharing them via the comments box, below?
And if you enjoy short-n-sweet inspirational quotes, you might like to get hold of our free Daily Sunshine emails.
So much of our identity is built up around our story. Who are we? What has happened to us? What are our war wounds and badges of honour?
But that’s not who we really are. That’s who we used to be.
And the amazing thing is that every day we get to start anew and re-write our story.
Are there any edits you’d like to make today?
If you want to feel happier, sometimes it can be best to go back to basics and learn from those around us who seem happiest. In my life, that’s probably my 4 year old.
He seems to have happiness pretty much sussed.
We often believe that wisdom comes with age. But sometimes the years cause us to forget what’s really important, as we get bogged down in the details of how to worry, stress and feel grumpy. We can focus so much on teaching our kids the things we think we know, that we can forget how much they have to teach us.
So, just in case you’re up for remembering how to feel happier, here are 10 happiness secrets that my wee one would like to share with us “grown ups”!
