Most of us know someone we’d rather not spend the weekend with. And some of us know someone we might even cross the street to avoid.
But what happens when your avoidance tactics don’t work any more? If you simply HAVE TO spend time with that person who has been driving you crazy?
How can you handle their annoying behaviour, without losing your cool or resorting to pretending to like them?
Fed Up Of That Annoying Person Bugging You? How A Minute Of Gratitude Could Turn Things Around (Lessons Learned From Appalling Customer Service!)
Most of us get pretty worked up about people behaving badly or unfairly. Thinking about it distracts us during the day. And it can keep us awake at night.
Fortunately there’s a 3-step action plan for stopping that annoying person from bugging you – and breaking the cycle, so you can experience more people behaving kindly.
Have you noticed how we tend to get what we think about?
And how the more we think about something, the more we get stuck on that particular radio station – especially if it’s the one that tells us stories about how annoying someone else is?
But did you know that the more we think about it, the more of it we attract into our lives? And that goes for difficult people, too.
There was a point last year when I had been on the receiving end of a lot of rubbish customer service. Lots and lots. The only reason I reacted to it as strongly as I did is either because there’s a lesson in there for me, or because I’ve been giving my ‘head space’ over to thinking about the bad customer service I’ve experienced – thereby telling The Universe that I’d like more of it, please…
Fortunately, once I had ‘woken up’ and spotted what I was doing, I knew the solution. Would you like to know it too?
Want A 3 Step Quick-Fix To Help Break The Habit Of Letting People Drive You Crazy?
Becoming aware of a habit that no longer serves you is the first step towards changing things.
The second step is accepting it – letting go of the guilt trips and beating yourself up.
The third step is to do something different!
So, to turn things around, I applied gratitude to the situation.
To help my Monkey Mind let go of the need to tell its dramatically-embellished ‘woe is me’ story, I shifted my focus.
I had been consciously choosing to ‘spend’ my thoughts (they’re a valuable form of currency) on saying a heart-felt “thank you” for examples of great customer service.
I was – and still am – doing this at random points throughout my day, for at least a minute a time.
And do you know what happens?
- I instantly feel better – ok it takes about 60 seconds – but my mood lifts
- My heart feels lighter, as I’m no longer dragging my mood down with thoughts of “It’s not fair!” and “Why is this happening?” and “I’m not happy about this.”
- The grumpy stories have stopped. I’m no longer indulging my mind’s need for drama on this one.
- I’m creating chemical reactions in my body, triggered by my thoughts, that tell my body to trigger the hormones that produce happy feelings – both emotionally and physically – rather than stressed feelings.
- I’m really enjoying feeling gratitude towards those people who have behaved kindly and helpfully towards me in the past.
And, perhaps the most amazing outcome:
- I could feel that the part of me that was ‘magnetising’ these negative experiences towards me was slowly melting away. I can still feel – somehow – that I have broken the cycle and this stuff doesn’t need to come my way any more.
Now, it’s not about ‘pretending’ that those negative experiences were ok or acceptable. It’s about accepting them for what they are – experiences – but no longer indulging in giving them all of your head space. And then creating the space for you to move on.
And once I got to that place of neutral acceptance, I was able to move on to a more positive mantra, each time I spotted one of those old stories creeping up on me:
“I feel grateful for the experiences of excellent customer service that are waiting for me.”
Of course, you don’t need to save this kind of technique for lousy customer service.
Imagine someone who is bugging you in general, or behaving unkindly.
Is your head going round and round, thinking about their words and behaviour?
Want it to stop?
- Accept the situation. Stop fighting with yourself over it. Stop telling yourself the stories and running the ‘what if’ scenarios in your head.
- Choose to focus on feeling grateful for specific examples of people you know who have behaved kindly towards you. Do this for at least sixty seconds at a time, as many times as you can, during your day.
- Choose a mantra to use, if that old story creeps back up. Something about feeling grateful for the positive experiences in such-and-such scenario that are waiting for you will work well.
Forgive yourself.
Sure, forgive the other person, too, if you can find that in your heart.
“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” ~ Oscar Wilde 😉
But remember to forgive yourself for each and every time you have felt wound up and angry about their behaviour; for each time you have retaliated; for each time you found yourself lying awake at night, stressing about it.
Forgive and move on.
Where could you apply this technique today?
Which situation in your life is crying out for you to stop going round in stressed-out circles, waiting for the other person to change?
How about playing with these simple steps and then letting me know how you got on, via the comments box, below?
And if you found this helpful, and you’d like to learn more about getting off the emotional rollercoaster, once and for all, then make sure you check out whether my 14 day Master Your Emotions programme is right for you. People tell me it’s changing their lives, in just five minutes a day.
With love, Namaste,
P.S. Do you know someone who needs to know about this technique? Please feel free to share it with them 😉