energy vampires Archives

How To Deal With Energy Vampires – Without Resorting To Wooden Stakes & Strings Of Garlic

I’m curious: do you have any energy vampires in your life?

Anyone who, when they walk through the door, you secretly want to hide under the table?

Or who, if you see them on caller-display, you have to consciously decide whether you want to pick up the phone?

They’re the kind of people who, when we spend time with them, they look great afterwards, but we feel terrible.

If you know anyone who does this to you, then in this week’s video I’ve got some secrets to share with you to help you put a stop to that cycle, without finding that no one will talk to you any more!

When you’ve watched it (it’s at the top of this page), I’d love to hear from you via the comments:

Did you have an energy vampire in your life?
Can you imagine how applying these techniques might help?
And what are you going to do to start playing with this today?

With love, Namaste,

Whose Pain Is It Anyway?

Inspirational Messages

“All criticism is borne of someone else’s pain.”
Native American Indian saying

Sometimes people do stuff that’s really unacceptable.

Yes, there’s a sliding scale so ‘unacceptable’, but it’s still not ok.

It’s our tendency to retaliate in some way – perhaps by behaving unkindly or even doing something nasty to them. It’s easy to hold resentments and grudges and to allow those to colour our exoerience of relating with that person. We can direct all sorts of painful emotions towards them and even stay awake half the night, replaying the movie of how terrible their actions were.

But there’s a difference between the person and their actions – a person is not their behaviour.

The behaviour – the actions – are the outwards appearance of the person. What is deep down inside, the essence of that person, is different from their actions. At some level, they are running the same kinds of auto-pilot responses that we do. At some level, they just want to be happy, just like us.

Deep down, most people (no matter how bad their behaviour) are just muddling their way through life, without much of an instruction manual, just like us. Their choices about their behaviour might be pants, but that doesn’t make them a bad person – any more than it would make us a bad person, when we make bad choices.

So there is a difference between the person and their behaviour – the actor and the actions.

Like actors in a play, what we show the outside world isn’t necessarily the truth of who we really are, but is a script – a series of behaviours – that can change.

When we remember that, we can set ourselves free from much of the pain. We create a space between their action and our response, which can allow us to choose a response for the long-term higher good, rather than short-term retaliation.

It’s a challenging mindset shift, but it gives you back your personal power and helps you to be less impacted by others’ actions.

And it’s the key to cultivating compassion, if that’s what you choose to do.

Namaste,
Clare

P.S. I really hope this article has helped you. It’s a bonus article from my ‘Let Your Light Shine‘ programme.

If you have been on the receiving end of someone’s criticism, or if you’re keeping yourself stuck dreaming big, but playing small, then it’s time for you to Let Your Light Shine.

This is a beautiful 5 day online course to help you set yourself free from the fear of ‘Haters’ and ‘Trolls’, so you can get on with making a difference in the world. With a smile on your face! xx Clare

Whose Sunshine Are You Stealing?

Inspirational Messages

Today’s Daily Sunshine quote comes from Julia Moss Seton:

“We have no more right to put our discordant states of mind into the lives of those around us and rob them of their sunshine and brightness then we have to enter their houses and steal their silverware.“

How often do we accidentally end up spreading storm clouds, rather than sunshine?

It’s so easy to do.

And we usually do it without noticing.

After all, if you’re feeling grumpy, the last thing on your mind is how your mood is impacting others.

A stormy mood is more contagious than a dose of ‘flu.

How can you stop yourself from stealing someone else’s sunshine?

It’s not about moving house to Pollyanna’s world and feeling happy all the time. It’s about becoming more aware of our impact on others.
When we see how our mood impacts those around us, we are in a better position to choose whether to spread storm clouds or sunshine.

Finding it hard to manage your moods? Meditation is a fab place to start. We blog about it a lot here! Here are some useful meditation resources.

How can you stop someone else from stealing your sunshine?

If we spot someone else trying to do this to us, we can always choose not to allow them!
It’s that simple.
If you feel your mood being dragged down by those around you, you could move away from the situation or – if that’s not practical – you could put up a mental protective barrier, that won’t allow their storm clouds through.

How we feel is up to us.

What are your favourite strategies for spreading sunshine rather than storm clouds? I’d love to hear your thoughts via the comments box!