Why You Need To Learn To Love Unsubscribes, If You Want To Grow Your Business [DTDB004]

Why You Need To Learn To Love Unsubscribes, If You Want To Grow Your Business [DTDB004]
Dare to Dream Bigger

00:00 / 00:17:47

Want to magnetise your dream customers, with less effort and zero fear? Then you need to learn to love unsubscribes!

Do you ever find yourself dreading seeing that ‘unsubscribed’ notification, after you send an email to your mailing list?

It used to knock me for six. But not any more.

Discover why I now LOVE it when people unsubscribe from my newsletter, how I turned things around, and how you can use these techniques to grow your business and even magnetise your dream customers.

Click to subscribe on iTunes

And when you’ve listened to this episode, I’d love to hear from you – via the comments:

  • What action are you going to take?
  • What could you do to get to the stage where you love unsubscribes so much that you no longer feel afraid in any way to promote and send out your newsletter?
  • And how could you use your newsletter to inspire your dream customers – and grow your business?

And here are the upcoming events I mentioned:

And join us over at our Facebook group: Dare To Dream Bigger

Liked this episode? Help spread the word!

With love, Namaste,

Clare x

Mentor To Passionate World-Changers, Author Of The Dare To Dream Bigger Entrepreneur’s Handbook

P.S. Are you an Academy member yet? Rates go up in just a few days. Here’s where to grab your lowest-price-ever membership – for life: www.ClareJosa.com/Academy

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Prefer the transcript? Here you go!

Hello. It’s Clare Josa here with this week’s Dare To Dream Bigger business podcast, Episode 004. Today, we’re talking about why I love it when people unsubscribe from my newsletter and why you need to get to that point too if you want to grow your business.


I’ve been running my business since 2002, back in the days where we barely had mailing lists, and you could almost handle them on your email system. It certainly wasn’t as easy as it is now. Having an email list is one of the most important things you can do to grow your business.


I work with a really big firm that doesn’t have anywhere on their homepage for people to sign up for their newsletters, and they wonder why it’s so hard to grow their business. They’re refusing to send newsletters to people. They do eventually collect email addresses if people phone in and ask to be put on the newsletter. But, when they then email people, it’s only ever to say, “Hey, we’re running this event. Come and give us some money.” They’re refusing to build that relationship.


It doesn’t matter how often I sit them down and explain to them how they’re not living their purpose by doing this, they’re missing out on people who really want to connect with them. They will not do a newsletter. Thankfully, they’re in the minority.


Now, the thing is that you can have a great following on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Instagram, but that platform owns your subscriber list. If they change their terms and conditions at any stage, which they’ve been known to do, you could find yourself, overnight, unable to reach the people who want to hear from you. This happened with Facebook over the last few years. It used to be really easy to reach people via your Facebook page. Now, unless you’re going to pay hard cash, it’s nearly impossible. Getting people to opt into your newsletter has been shown, in research studies, to still be the most effective way to connect.


Now, one of the things with newsletters — I remember when I first launched mine many, many years ago, and it’s had many incarnations since. It’s kind of scary. You’re putting yourself out there publicly saying, “Hey, do you like me enough? Could you please let me stay in touch?” It’s all about building a relationship with your dream customer, accepting that maybe they’re not ready to buy from you yet, or maybe they’ve bought something, but they’re not ready to trade up. You need to spend time and effort building a relationship and helping them to get to know, like, and trust you so that when they’re ready to make that leap, whatever it is the transformation that you offer, yours will be the name that comes to mind.


The thing is, when you look in your email system and you’ve sent out newsletter, we all do this. It’s like [gasp], “How many people are going to read it? Are they going to click the links? Are they going to love it?”


The first thing to bear in mind is, with many, many email systems, as in the consumer end of email systems, it’s impossible for the email provider system to tell whether they actually opened the email and whether they clicked the link. When you’re looking at your figures, don’t be demoralized. They’re often only half of the actual truth. Probably twice as many people as you think are opening your emails, and twice as many people are clicking the links.


The other thing is, don’t be disheartened if, when you send out your email, it takes a day or two for people to actually get in there and go and read what you’ve been sending because everybody is busy. Often they’ll see your email and think, “Oh, I really want to read that, but I’ve got to do this first,” or, “I’m on the run,” or, “It’s in a format I can’t read on my phone,” or, “I’ll wait until I’m on my desktop.” It does take people time.


It’s a really rare relationship for your email to arrive and for someone to think, “I’m going to stop everything and read that.” Now, if you get to that stage, that’s fantastic. But then there’s the other side of the coin is the people who get your email, and they hit the “Unsubscribe” button.


I still remember the early days when this used to happen to me, and the first few times it happened–I have a confession to make here–I nearly cried. I felt so rejected. I felt so hurt. It hit all of my self-worth buttons. “This person hates me enough that they’ve unsubscribed! I must be rubbish!”


Now, I’m exaggerating a little, but not much. I know I’m not alone in this where I hang out and help people in various Facebook groups and LinkedIn forums. I see it over and over again. It’s so common that seeing an unsubscribe hurts.


Now, what hurts even more is someone hits the “Spam Complaint” button, unless you are spamming, in which case please stop now. You give us all a terrible reputation. On some email provider systems, it’s easier to hit the spam or complaint button than it is to look for the unsubscribe link. Very rarely does a spam complaint actually mean someone felt spammed, but it is an important chance for you to look in the mirror and see if maybe you were selling more than you were creating that relationship.


Over the years, I’ve got to the stage where I actually love it when somebody unsubscribes from my newsletter. I know that sounds crazy, but there are two reasons for it. One, on a positive note, if I’m going to Pollyanna it, I might like to think, “Well, hey. They’ve exhausted the journey that they can take with me and they’ve changed, they’ve developed, they’ve shifted, and they’ve moved on to someone else, and that’s great.” Or, it could mean they’re having a Marmite reaction, in which case I’m doing my job perfectly.


Marmite, for those of you who aren’t in the U.K., it’s a savory spread you can put on toast, a yeast extract spread. It sounds disgusting, doesn’t it? I think it’s delicious. I know people who hate it. We call it a Marmite reaction. People either love you or hate you. It’s kind of rare to meet somebody who is just okay about Marmite. You either like it or you don’t.


If everybody loves you, then in reality probably nobody loves you. In business, there are so many people out there with glossy façades, these glitzy veneers, beautiful marketing, and a graphic designer to die for, and they’re all cookie cutters. What people really love is somebody who is being authentic. The longer I work in the industry I’m in, the more I see people being cookie cutters. They pay for an expensive course to find out how to be the leader in their industry, and they all look the same.


What people really want is somebody they resonate with, and you cannot resonate with somebody who is pretending. So, how I got from the, “Oh, my God! They hate me! I’m just going to give up now,” when somebody unsubscribed, to the, “Oh, that’s cool. Decision made,” is by being me.


You’ll often hear me saying that success in business is less about what you do and who you allow yourself to be. When you’re doing, doing, doing, you are chasing customers. You’re begging them to love you. People sense that neediness a mile off. Instead, by being authentically and awesomely you and playing to your strengths and letting that essence of you run through every element of your business, you’re doing what my old mentor used to say, “Do what you do best, and do it well.”


The view I take now on unsubscribers is, “That’s great. We clearly weren’t a good fit.” I was authentic enough in that newsletter to help them to see that. There are no hard feelings. Everybody who unsubscribes takes me a step closer to meaning that everybody on my mailing list is a really good fit in both directions. They’re more likely to love working with me, and I’m more likely to love working with them.


We had this recently in the Dare To Dream Bigger business summit where we were, all of us presenters, sending out the information to our subscribers, to our dream customers, and some of the presenters had a really low conversion rate. Others had a massively high conversion rate of people who signed up for tickets.


We had a private presenters’ group, and I asked them what’s the difference. I said to the person who was getting the incredible yes rate, I said, “What are you doing different?” This person’s response was, “I was absolutely ruthless on making sure that my email list is only full of people who really want to work with me. I would rather have a list with a tenth of the people on it, but know that they actually want to hear from me each week, than have a list that’s got ten times as many people who frankly can’t be bothered.”


Now, I was on a mastermind last week at the Institute of Directors in London. One of the things we discussed there was that everybody that you are connected with in your business, whether they’re a customer or a potential customer, takes a tiny bit of energy. If your mailing list is ten times longer than it needs to be, and it’s full of people who aren’t really interested, well, you’re going to have to work hard to convince them to work with you. That takes a lot more effort than if your email list is much smaller, but it’s full of people who absolutely love hearing from you.


Can you feel the difference? How would it be for you if every time somebody unsubscribed from your newsletter, you took that as an, “Okay, this is a step closer to meaning that only people who really want to work with me and hear from me are on my list”? How might that change your attitude towards your email list? How much easier might it make for you to send out messages that really resonate with who you really are that excite and inspire your dream customers? It’s a simple mindset shift.


Now, there’s another problem I come up across a lot with my clients and my students. I was working with somebody very recently who had this problem too. They weren’t sending out regular content to their newsletter. Now, I hear the excuse all the time of, “Oh, I don’t want to bombard them,” or, “They don’t want to hear from me regular. I’d rather be spontaneous.”


Well, how would you feel if I only did this podcast once in a blue moon? Yeah, there’s something about the regularity of it. You know it’s coming out on a Monday. If you’re enjoying it, you’ve probably subscribed. Show notes, by the way, are DTDBpodcast.biz/004, today.


You’ve probably subscribed, and you probably have kind of a mental space in your diary to make sure that you listen. That is how you want your customers to feel. If you only contact them once in a blue moon, then it’s not going to work as well. You’re not feeding that relationship. There’s no to and fro. There’s no conversation. I see this all the time.


You can tell which of the big name gurus are with which mentors because suddenly you won’t hear from any of them for months. Then, suddenly a group of them will email you all starting the same day, seven days. Then on day eight is the big pitch.


They’re offering loads of free content and loads of added value for those seven days. Then it’s like, “Right, okay. I’ve helped you. Now you buy from me.” It’s funny because I’ve got tuned now that if I hear from them, I know that there’s a pitch coming because they never contact me unless there’s a pitch, unless there’s a launch.


It’s like clockwork. It’s so predictable, and it’s so sad because what it says to me, as a person, is they don’t really value me. They value my money. I can feel the agenda.


Now, that regular, little, and often, it depends on your market. It might be once a week. It might be once a fortnight. It might be once a month. But, getting into the mental diary of your customers and sending them stuff that adds value, stuff that actually excites them, stuff that makes them think, “Whenever I open the email from you, it changes me. It gives me something. I love it.” That’s how to get them to open.


This issue I see coming up so often. You can sum it up in one sentence. Business owners resist contacting their customers because they’re scared the customer will feel like they’re being bothered. “I don’t want to bother them. I don’t want to be in the way. I don’t want to interrupt their lives.”


Well, there is that, so make sure that you don’t feel like you’re bothering them, and you don’t come across as interrupting them, but can you see this is actually not about the customers. This is about the business owner. Who told you in your earlier life that you were bothering them? What is that old pattern that’s coming up here for release?


If we think about it logically without the emotion and the old limiting beliefs, fears, and worries, if somebody signs up for your newsletter, they are telling you they want to hear from you. It’s like a friend giving you stamped addressed envelope and saying, “Write to me.” If you then don’t because you’re scared of bothering them, they’re going to feel like you’ve broken part of the deal.


I have situations sometimes where people register for my newsletter and they type their email address in incorrectly, so they never hear from me. Five or six weeks later, they’ll write and complain and say, “Why didn’t you email me?” They want to hear from you. They’re hungry.


Now, the other thing is if you write to them with that fear in the back of your mind of, “I don’t want to bother them,” you’re going to come across as apologetic. You’re unlikely to be authentic. You’re very unlikely to inspire them. They will feel that fear.


The fact is, everybody who signs up for your newsletter wants to hear from you. You’ve got an agreement. You’ve said, “Give me your email address and, ideally, your first name, and I will contact you. I will send you things that will make a difference in your life. I will inspire you. I will be a ray of sunshine in your inbox.” If you don’t build that relationship, both sides are missing out.


Just be authentic. Maybe brainstorm right now of five ways that you could inspire your customers with your next few newsletters. Plan ahead. Create them ahead. Enjoy it. Get excited about the relationship that you’re building. It doesn’t matter whether you’re selling services, courses, or widgets. There are things that you can talk about in a newsletter that will make a positive difference in your customer’s life. Go and do it now.


I’d like to finish with an idea from a dear friend of mine, Star Khechara. She talks about instead of chasing customers with your newsletters, be the flame and allow the moths to come to you. It’s the energy of a newsletter.


So often we’re out there pushing, pushing, pushing. “Please. I’m desperate to fill such and such a program. Would you please sign up?”



Be the flame. Be authentically, awesomely who you are, and your customers will come to you. They will then choose to open your newsletters. If you add more value than you’re asking for in return, then you will become a part of their routine.


I really hope that’s helped you for today. I’d love to hear from you over at the show notes via the comments. What action are you going to take? What could you do to get to the stage where you love unsubscribes so much that you no longer feel afraid in any way to promote and send your newsletter? And, how could you use your newsletter to grow your business?


There are also some quick dates for the diary for you today. Hot off the press, I’m going to be back at the Institute of Directors on the 29th of February. We’re going to be running a one-day workshop, an intensive workshop. If you are ready to take the next leap in your business, we’re going to use the Leap Year Day this year.


Everyone is too busy working in their business to work on it, so let’s use the extra day this year, the 29th of February, a one-day intensive that’s going to be a business transformation workshop. If you’ve got a dream that you want to take to the next level, a new product, maybe changing your audience, whatever it is, in that day we’re going to work together as a group, and you’re going to get the shifts you want. You can find out about that and book your place–very limited places–DareToDreamBigger.biz/intensive.


On the 22nd of Feb, we’re doing a five-day, online, live, free course on taming your inner critic. That’s at DareToDreamBigger.biz/innercritic.


And, I’ve got a time master class for you on the 2nd of March. If you want to know how to magically make more time–and who doesn’t, frankly–then come and find that too. You’ll find the registration for that at the show notes for today’s session. That’s at DTDBpodcast.biz/004.


Now, I can’t wait to hear what you’re going to do with this stuff today, and how about joining us over at Dare To Dream Bigger on Facebook and maybe letting us know what shifts you’re going to make. What shifts are you going to make? How are you going to use your newsletter in a different way as a result of today’s podcast? And, what difference is it you could make in the life of your customers through your newsletter that means you’ll get them opening every single issue?


I hope you have a fantastic week. I’ll be back next time with Episode 005.

About the Author Clare Josa

Clare Josa sets Passionate World Changers free from Imposter Syndrome and their secret 3am fears, so they can make the difference they are really here to make in the world. She is the author of five life-changing books, including the much-loved Dare to Dream Bigger. Her sixth book and debut novel, You Take Yourself With You, has been described by readers as 'unputdownable'.

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