It’s not just tech that becomes obsolete. Coaching is out of date, too. And that’s the problem our clients are stuck with. The industry needs an upgrade.
Coaching Is Stuck In The 1990s
Most coach training is still designed to help clients who just need a bit of clarity, to reframe some out-of-date beliefs, and accountability to get stuff done. That's why the GROW model (John Whitmore) became the mainstay of coaching from the 1990s onwards, and it's still relied on by traditional coaches today. For some clients it can be great. It has its place.
But it isn't enough for 2020s neurobiology. Most clients and the world they live in have changed beyond anything the GROW model was ever intended for (Goal - Reality - Obstacles - Will).
It came from a pre-digital era and is based on the assumption that all clients need is a rational, clear path to a goal and some moral support.
In the mid-2020s, clients are overloaded, burning out, struggling with chronic stress, subconsciously addicted to cortisol to get through the day, and bombarded with thousands of messages a day designed to make them doubt whether they're good enough. Their nervous system makes their biggest decisions, not their rational, thinking brain. And 70% have lived experience of trauma, according to the WHO.
They no longer want help with minor goals. They want deeper, identity-level shifts and transformation. And human 'operating systems' have changed beyond anything we could have imagined three decades ago, while the tools we're using to support them have barely evolved.
Using 90s-era goal-setting tools for this depth of work is like trying to run a smartwatch on pager software.
These out-of-date assumptions are why so many personal development and coaching interventions don't create lasting change. And the rush of AI-generated substitutes for human-designed trainings isn't fixing the problem - because they were trained on models and philosophies that are out of date.
But it's not just the 1990s that are keeping coaching stuck.
Most coaching theories are based on a 400-year-old mistake.
The 17th Century Glitch Holding Back The 21st Century Workplace
Descartes - the 17th century philosopher - is perhaps most famous for the quote, "I think, therefore I am."
People still argue about where / whether the comma should be in the English translation of his mantra, but either way, his approach is still stalling personal development 400 years later, because it's based on a major mistake.
Descartes convinced the medical profession of his day that mind and body are separate - 'Cartesian Dualism'.
Four centuries later, science has repeatedly proven this is wrong. Mind and body are inextricably linked, and wellbeing requires us to consider how they interact, not to separate them.
But Cartesian Dualism still forms the foundations of most coaching, therapy, and personal development. This means that coaching is out of date - both the underlying assumptions and the effectiveness of coaching models.
It assumes that the thinking mind is running the show when it comes to change, but it's actually the nervous system. It assumes that the thinking brain can use willpower to override the nervous system's safety-based 'no'.
When we try to get a client to 'mindset' their way out of 'stuckness' the body and primal part of the brain still have a physical veto, though clients might not consciously be aware of this. And this is at the root of most self-sabotage and behavioural changes that revert over time - we treated the mind and body as being separate.
If clients have a history of trauma (70%) then this is even more pronounced, with the nervous system likely to be stuck in 'hypervigilance' and treating every coaching change as an existential threat.
The Dandelion Trap: Why Change Doesn't Stick
As coaches - whether it's in your job title or not - we've all seen clients who experienced breakthroughs, but a few sessions later the problem comes back.
This is in large part due to the Cartesian Dualism assumptions that underpin traditional coaching. We're coaching the surface-level symptoms, teaching coping strategies, but not clearing the underlying root cause. So like dandelions between paving slabs, the old habits grow back.
You don't have to become an 'accidental therapist' to help clients to clear blocks at root cause level, but you do need to know how to safely identify and resolve 'secondary gain' - the hidden benefit of the habit they want to release.
Clients need us to help them to move beyond 'sticking plasters' (Band Aids) to be able to truly set themselves free from their out-of-date patterning and subconscious fears.
But so often they don't know how. And that brings us on to the final coaching myth for today:
Clients have all the answers they need inside of themselves.
Back in 2001 when I was studying to become an NLP Trainer, it was drummed into us that everyone has all the answers they need inside of themselves. And I believed it.
But that left me confused every time I found a client who didn't, which was the majority of my clients. I used to blame myself. Then I looked at the evidence for what was really happening.
There are three issues running here that mean this presupposition is no longer enough.
- When a client feels scared of a change or it's a deeper, identity-level issue, the current 'persona' and behaviours have been constructed to create safety. So the client's nervous system 'locks the door' to the library of their internal 'answers' and no amount of positivity-coaching will coax them out.
- There are things we don't know that take decades to learn. So sometimes non-directive coaching (only ever asking questions) is maddeningly slow.
- When coaching questions aren't working deeply enough, it's easy to fall into the 'accidental therapist' trap and start digging around in a client's past like an archaeologist, instead of helping them to be the architect of their future.
The 'purist' approach of non-directive coaching assumes that the right questions from the coach will unlock the missing answers in the clients. But this isn't always true. This type of coaching is out of date.
That's why in my Master Coach certification, we blend coaching with mentoring. There are times when what a client actually needs the most is a short-cut or a how-to, rather than yet more navel-gazing.
Some of the rules of the coaching industry are long overdue not just a software upgrade, but a hardware change.
Have you outgrown your current coaching toolkit?
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Is it time to upgrade your coaching 'hardware'?
Clare Josa is considered a global authority on Imposter Syndrome, with 20+ years in the field, including leading three landmark research studies. The author of 10 books and an international keynote speaker, she pioneers training Master Coaches to create trauma-safe, identity-level client change.
Her background in Six Sigma engineering and Head of Market Research for one of the world's most disruptive brands means her inspirational work is practical, evidence-based, and proven to create coaching breakthroughs even when nothing else has worked. Find out more about Master Coach training with Clare here and also how to book her to speak for International Women's Day.