In yesterday’s post (How To Live The Life Of Your Dreams), I mentioned that the first step is surprisingly simple – decide who you want to be. Yet it’s also deceptively complex.
How many of us know who we actually are, let alone who we want to be?
Any why does it matter, anyway?
Well, living the life of our dreams isn’t about “stuff”, though stuff (material things) may be part of the package.
It’s about an attitude, a mindset, a way of being.
It’s about getting back into the “here and now”, to truly appreciate what we already have and anticipate where we are going. It’s not about living in the past or dreaming of a future where we will finally give ourselves permission to be happy.
Living the life of your dreams is about allowing yourself to feel happy, whatever is going on around you.
For most of us, that can feel like a massive leap, so let’s take this slowly.
How often have we told ourselves:
I’ll be happy, when…
… I get that promotion / my boss leaves / this project is finished.
… we have paid off the mortgage / car loan.
… the kids stop whining / my partner does what I’m asking.
… I get those new shoes / that faster car / the smartphone.
… I lose 10 lb /look more like that supermodel.
Why are we giving away our right to be happy right here, right now?
All our power is being held by some future event, over which we may or may not have any influence. That puts us straight in the position of powerless victim, which is a tough place to be, if you want to feel happy.
Why do we give away control over our happiness to other people or external circumstances?
Because it’s a habit. That’s all.
And habits can be changed.
Even the strongest addiction can be released. Not convinced? Check out the article: “How Long Does It Take To Break A Habit?”
It’s almost impossible to feel happy, if we’re spending all our time mulling over regrets about the past or preoccupying ourselves with worries about possible futures.
Incidentally, Esther Hicks defines worrying as: “creating a future you don’t really want” – so true!
How can we start to release that old habit, of giving away our happiness?
Here are three things you could do now to reclaim your happiness:
- Get out of the drama
Most of our unhappiness is caused by the drama with which we surround the events of our life. We’re experts at projecting the story, rather than opening our eyes to the truth.
If you’re thinking about something and it’s making you irritated, you could stop for a moment and ask yourself this questions:
“What’s the simplest Truth in all this?”
Answer that question honestly and you’ll be racing back up towards a more neutral emotion, from which it’s easier to move on to step two…- What am I enjoying, right now?
This question does two things:
- It brings you back to the present moment, back from stressing about the past or worrying about the future.
- It helps shift your awareness from what’s wrong for you to what’s going well for you. Fast-track to feeling happier.
- Get yourself a happiness-theft radar!
Train yourself – moment by moment – to spot when you’re giving away your happiness – when you’re allowing someone or something else to decide when you can be happy.
It doesn’t take long to get really good at this.
Of course, you can still choose to allow it to happen; to give away your happiness. But then at least it’s your choice, rather than an unconscious script you were running on auto-pilot!
These three steps are an excellent start to getting back in the driving seat of your happiness, which is the very early stage of Living The Life Of Your Dreams.
Are you ready to move towards living the life of your dreams?
If you’d like to come with us on this journey, make sure you’re getting the updates, every time we write a new article (Living The Life Of Your Dreams RSS feed) or join us in our Living The Life Of Your Dreams Facebook group, for moral support and some fun!
Can’t wait to have you join us!
With love,
Clare