WHAT TO DO IF YOU MISS A DAY
Why beating yourself up is the worst thing you can do.
How was day five? Did you get to meditate yesterday? How are you finding the process, now you’re nearly a week in? Remember there’s a general week one discussion thread over at the forum.
Today we’re talking about what happens if you miss a day.
Before we start, you might be surprised that no one is going to tell you off if you miss a day. No one is going to get cross. No one is going to shout. No one is going to hold it against you. No one wants you to feel guilty.
Because you’re human! And you’re starting out on this 28 day (and hopefully life-long) journey of practising meditation. Whenever we start something new, it’s inevitable that every few steps forward could include a pause or even a little step back. And that’s ok. The key is to be making regular progress, over time.
Also, it’s up to you whether or not you choose to meditate. If you do, you do. If you don’t, you don’t. It’s your choice.
What’s the worst thing you can do if you miss a day?
Beat yourself up about it.
Because that’s exactly what your monkey mind wants!
It’s scared of the silence. It’s worried that it won’t be important any more, once you know how to manage it. It has already been finding you every excuse imaginable, to distract you from meditating over the years. Just picture how much fun it could get from spending hours, days or weeks telling you how rubbish you are at meditating, just because you missed a day. Then your missed day becomes a missed few days, which become a missed week, weeks, a month, months… and then you’ve given up.
Is that what you really want?
So I strongly suggest that you accept the fact that you missed a day; don’t beat yourself up; don’t judge yourself; it happened; it’s done; it’s in the past; the only person who could undo it is someone with a time machine.
They key is to learn from it, and then let it go.
By figuring out why you missed a day, you can make it less likely to happen in the future.
- Perhaps you forgot?
Then how will you remind yourself next time? Do you need to set an alarm? Do you need to put a reminder note up somewhere around the house?
- Were you too busy?
Well, what could you let go of, to find 10 minutes in your day? Do you need to change the time you are doing your meditation?
- Did you make an excuse?
Perhaps meditation isn’t really what you want to do at this stage (dare I say it?!)? Being really honest with yourself, maybe you haven’t really chosen to start yet? Or maybe you’re a bit scared or nervous or unsure or unclear about what to do and how to do it?
- Did you need moral support?
Remember, if you want to share this journey, then the 28 Day Meditation Challenge forum allows you to share your experiences and get answers to your questions.
- Perhaps it’s a completely different reason?
Whatever it is:
Becoming aware of the cause is the key to choosing whether or not you want to make changes.
Once you figured out how it happened – and what you want to learn from it – let it go.
One of the reasons we have the online forum is so you can pop by, to get moral support and ask your questions at this stage. Maybe seeing how others have tackled this will give you some tips or inspiration?
Here’s a special discussion thread, just for this topic:
There was a famous hypnotherapist called Milton Erickson. He taught people about the power of concentrating on the one, single thing that they are doing at that time and not allowing past performance issues to affect their present or their future.
He often worked with Olympic athletes who, for example, might need to perform the same task many times over, but often lost their nerve in the final few rounds.
He once trained the American Olympic Shooting Team, who had to shoot at a target twenty times – and who were shooting brilliantly. But by the time they got to the final few shots, as the pressure built up, their nerves would kick in and they would fluff the last few targets, just when they were about to win gold. He taught them to focus on ‘I take this shot, and then I do it now, and then I do it now’.
He taught them to let go of whatever had gone before, not to worry about what was coming next and simply focus on that one time.
It is the choice we make right now that creates our future.
So let’s get started!
I hope you really enjoy today’s meditation!
Tomorrow we’ll be talking about how to keep your momentum going.
Day 6 Affirmation
Yesterday has been and gone. It’s what I do today that matters.
P.S. The key links you need for week one are:
Getting Started: http://www.28daymeditationchallenge.com/home
Week one resources: http://www.clarejosa.com/28-day-meditation-challenge/home/#week1