Have you ever noticed how it’s socially acceptable to compete with others for the grumpiest or most stressed out day award? We all know how the conversation runs:
“You wouldn’t believe what happened to me today…!”
“Oh that’s nothing! You should hear what happened to me!”
“No way! You guys have got it easy, compared to me!”
Yet how often do we compete to be awarded the trophy for happiest person?
Why is that?
Assuming you’re after the “Grumpiest Of Them All” Award, to help you make sure you win today, here are 10 sure-fire grumpiness strategies you could start using right now.
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1. Stub your toe as you get out of bed
It’s a scientifically proven fact that stubbing your toe first thing in the morning, then whining about it all day, is a great way to have a terrible time.
2. Leave the house 10 minutes late
Leaving home late for work and getting stuck in traffic is another excellent strategy for giving you something to complain about all day.
3. Have an eagle eye for other people’s mistakes
This one is even better if the “other people” work for you. Spending your day watching out for what they do wrong is a sure-fire strategy for being the grumpiest of them all. It doesn’t matter if they get it right almost all day, you’ll be there to catch even the tiniest slip-up.
4. Become the champion of office gossip
There’s no better way to indulge in the drama than to spread office gossip. Go on, you know you want to.
5. Never admit you’re wrong
Why on earth would you want to admit you’re wrong? Let alone say sorry? It was clearly their fault. And someone has to take the blame. Forgiveness? Live and let live? Not on my patch, thank you!
6. Drink loads of caffeine
Whether it’s tea, coffee or soft drinks, your body doesn’t care where its caffeine comes from. So drink plenty, to make sure you’re pumping with adrenalin and looking for excuses to be grumpy.
7. Expect the worst
You know that positive mental attitude is over-rated. That belongs to the Pollyannas of this world, doesn’t it? By expecting the worst, you’ll get what you expect. Negative thinking is where it’s at. Hurrah! Another 10 rungs up the grumpy ladder. But be careful not to celebrate.
You’re competing for the grumpy award – and doesn’t everyone know it!
We know that the mind and body are linked. So by holding your body the way a grumpy person would and frowning all day, you can guarantee the outcome you’re after.
So get out there and frown as much as you can, being extra careful to avoid anyone who is smiling – they might catch you unawares and make you smile back at them. And that would set you back at least 3 levels.
9. Ignore the sunshine
You wouldn’t let a little thing like sunny weather spoil your day, would you? No way! You know exactly how to focus on the storm clouds, even during brilliant sunshine.
10. Go and sit in the corner on your own
Actually, if you’re winning the grumpiest of them all competition, this will probably be your only option. But that’s cool, because it’s all in aid of a good cause.
Being grumpy is a great way of getting attention and sympathy.
It’s one of the best tricks our mind has for keeping us stuck and making sure other people know about it!
Psychologists even have a special name for this: secondary gain. It basically means that the pain of changing is greater than the pain of staying the same. And a person won’t change until the balance tips in the opposite direction.
So hopefully these 10 grumpiness strategies have provided you with ample inspiration.
If you get a chance to try any of them out, how about sharing via the comments box?