Today I’d like to share with you a powerful technique that can help you to move past the annoying habits someone has, to reconnect with them, at a deeper level.
This technique isn’t for everyone. Those who are still stuck in blaming other people for making them angry or insisting that all the bad stuff in their life is someone else’s fault won’t like or want to do this.
But if you’re open to the idea of allowing a deeper sense of connection into your experience of life, setting yourself free from other people’s drama, then you might like to play with this.
It is a beautifully effective way of shifting your experience of life.
The next time someone is annoying you, you might like to play with this. I suggest you experiment with minor annoyances, before you try biggies, to get the hang of it.
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- Take a ‘snapshot’, before you start: how are you feeling? What are you thinking? Where is the tension in your body? How do you currently want to behave towards that other person?
- No matter how you are feeling, think three genuinely kind thoughts about the person who has been annoying you. You can do it. It might be a stretch, but you can find three kind things to think, even if it’s just something trivial, at first. (The more you practise this, the easier it is).
- Take another snapshot, as before. What has changed?
Now think about how you would like to respond or behave towards that other person? Notice how it has shifted?
- If it still needs to shift some more, remind yourself that, whilst their behaviour might be unacceptable, the person underneath is still a human being, with the same kinds of fears and painful baggage as the rest of us. Then think three more kind thoughts.
Can you see how this can turn things around? And it doesn’t need to take more than a minute.
Can you imagine using it in business meetings? During a family argument? Or even when talking to yourself? 😉
Even if it doesn’t change the other person’s behaviour, it will shift your experience of interacting with them. And it will make it less likely that they will get their desired response from you – so their behaviour is more likely to change,
I’d love to hear how you get on with this technique.
Perhaps you already have a variant of it that you like to use?
If you enjoyed this post, you might want to check out our other articles on all aspects of gratitude. You could even start a gratitude jar or perhaps a gratitude journal.