How are you getting on so far? Have you managed to experiment with your gratitude practice each day this week? Got any questions? Insights? Feedback? Remember the online forum is there for you to share your experiences. Here’s a quick reminder of where you can find it: Week One Discussions
One of the most important things you can do when creating a new habit, is to enlist moral support.
Telling people what you want to do gives them to help you and encourage you. It also helps you to hold yourself accountable. If your family and friends know, for example, that you want to take time out for regular gratitude practice, then there’s more of a chance of them:
- Giving you the space
- Accepting ‘no’ or ‘later’ as an answer to requests for immediate help!
- Holding you accountable – giving you a gentle nag, to make sure you have done it
- Possibly even wanting to join in with you!
Getting moral support – having a support network or even an ‘accountability buddy‘ can make a huge difference to your likelihood of success, when you’re creating a new habit.
Fortunately the Miracle Of Gratitude comes with a built-in peer-support network, via the exclusive members-only area of our online community. You can connect with others who are joining in and even ‘buddy up’, to nudge each other daily, to make sure you have done your practice.
If you’re into Facebook, the Facebook page (remember it’s public!) is another great place to connect with people and buddy up.
And, at home and work, there will be people who would love to help too.
Here are some top tips, to get your family, friends and even work colleagues ‘gratitude-fit’:
- Tell them what you’re doing!
It’s amazing how often we start making changes in our life, without telling our nearest and dearest. Maybe we’re not sure they’ll support us? Maybe we’re not sure they’ll understand? Maybe we’re embarrassed? But unless we tell them what we’re doing, they’re unlikely to miraculously create the space to allow us to do it…
- Get them to help you find the time.
It doesn’t matter how things have been done at home in the past. What creates the future of your dreams are the choices you make today. If you need someone else to take over some of the jobs you traditionally do, to help you find your daily gratitude minutes, ask them. If you don’t ask, you won’t get it. What you’re more likely to get is feeling resentment at still having to do those jobs, when you secretly want to be doing your practice.
- Help them see the benefits.
If you spot yourself responding differently to life, once you’ve been on this course for a few weeks, point it out to your family! If you manage to avoid a row with your partner, because you were feeling more at peace and more positive, deep inside, tell them! They don’t live in your head. They live in theirs. It’s neither fair nor reasonable to expect them to mind-read and spot the progress you’re making, especially if that progress means that something doesn’t happen! Help them feel the benefits of your gratitude time. If they try to steal your gratitude time, remind them of the potential consequences – of things going back to ‘how they used to be’!
- Help them understand why you’re doing it.
The word ‘because’ is like a magic key that reduces people’s resistance to a request. When you’re clear about why you want to take time out for the techniques on this course, share this with your family and it will help them behave more flexibly. Remind them:
“I choose to spend time focusing on gratitude each day because…” (Remember Day 4?)
It doesn’t really matter what the ‘because’ is – as long as you believe in it. Your conviction will help them understand that this request is important to you. It will make it easier for them to support you.
- Push your luck!
If you need to do extra practices, push your luck and ask for it. Remember: your gratitude space has tangible benefits for you and those around you. The limits – the boundaries – might not actually be where you think they are. After all, they’re not ‘real’ – they’re an assumption made by your Monkey Mind. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t feel guilty. You’re not actually asking for much. And it will change the course of your day – and theirs.
- Don’t insist on perfection.
For many of us, with busy lives and kids around, the ultimate ‘silent sanctuary’ for practising the techniques you’ll be discovering over the coming months is a rare beast. Stop aiming for perfection. Don’t allow your monkey mind to convince you to feel grumpy just because you can hear the kids playing next door. If the family is bouncing around, by all means ask them to show respect for your needs and be more quiet. But if they can’t manage that, just accept it. What counts is that you’re off duty for a few minutes. True inner peace and gratitude is about being able to access that inner still point, no matter how stressful life is. If you wait for perfect quiet, you’ll most likely never get round to the practices.
So there you have the six secrets for training your family, friends and colleagues to help you on this journey. Of course, there are many more strategies you could use. But hopefully these suggestions have given you some inspiration to help you get started.
Want to share any insights on this? Got any questions? Here’s the forum link:
How to enlist moral support for your gratitude journey.
Reminder of your Week One Project & Useful Links
Week One Gratitude Project[audio:http://]
- Take a deep breath and breathe out with a sighing ‘ahhh’ sound.
This helps you to let go of tension. Repeat 3 times, if you need to, to help you relax.
- Smile a gentle smile – a ‘half-smile’.
‘Half-smiling’ helps you to let go of any stresses, to rebalance your body’s sympathetic nervous system (‘fight or flight’ / adrenalin) with your parasympathetic nervous system (relaxation) and it gently starts the releasing of endorphins – your body’s natural ‘feel good’ hormones.
- Think of 3 things you feel grateful for.
It doesn’t have to be ‘big’ or ‘serious’ – whatever comes to mind. Think of one at a time, pausing on each one for at least 20 seconds, allowing yourself to fully experience a sense of gratitude – an inner ‘thank you’ – for whatever it is.
If you’re stuck for inspiration, how about starting with the fact that you’re alive, you’re breathing and you’re able to somehow read this message?
- Thank yourself.
Thank yourself for taking the time to practice gratitude today. And make a date with yourself to do it again tomorrow.
- Release the practice.
Let go of the practice. There’s no need to analyse, critique, judge or tell yourself stories. It will most likely feel different each day. And that’s ok. What matters is consistency – doing it as many days as you can remember (hopefully these emails / the forum / the Facebook page will help with that!).
Here’s the members-only community (private) and even the Facebook Page (public), where you can ask questions, share your experiences and support others who are joining in with the Miracle Of Gratitude.