“Sometimes the greatest gifts are those you can’t unwrap.”
I was talking to a friend recently about a person we know who has a reputation for being very ‘abrupt’ and ‘negative’. This person’s behaviour can make it really hard to get on with them.
Over the last year, my family has worked really hard at doing what my Nanna used to preach: ‘killing them with kindness’. So whenever this person behaved rudely, we would let the behaviour wash over us and send them sunshine and happiness in response, rather than fuming and behaving rudely in return.
What is the greatest gift you can give someone?
And it has been working. Although the other person’s behaviour is unchanged (they haven’t spotted that we’re no longer dancing the dance!), it no longer bothers us or gets in the way – too much! 
My friend was appalled and felt very angry that we were content with the situation.
“Why don’t you take them round some eggs? Or some strawberries? Or raspberries? Or bake them some bread? You have to do something to make them like you – to make them change!”
Do we? Really? Her insistence on us using physical presents to persuade the person to like us and change their behaviour got me thinking:
Surely the best way we can honour and respect this other person is to accept them for who they really are, without trying to manipulate or change their behaviour?
And to always respond to them from a place of love, rather than fear?
Surely that’s the best gift any of us could give anyone? What do you think? Please feel free to share via the comments box.
Is there anyone in your life who might benefit from this gift today? Just wondering!
Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter,
Namaste,
Clare
Hi Clare
No, I don’t think you should just accept this person’s behaviour. I would want to try to find out why she is so angry and upset all the time. I think, in this situation, I would make more effort to try to establish this. You don’t have to try to “buy” this persons friendship. I think that we should show by our behaviour towards her that we will not lower ourselves to her level. My Mum’s killing her with kindness is a wonderful attitude, and I have always tried to live with this in mind. If you show a person that you are prepared to be loving, regardles of their behaviour, you give them a signal that whatever they say will not change the way you think of them, so they might look at their own behaviour and make changes! Christ said we must turn the other cheek, which, quite often is really hard, but we need to show the people who are difficult that they are of value and that we will not lower ourselves to their standards. This makes it virtually impossible for the person to continue being nasty. Of course, I do realise that there are going to be times when this is impossilbe, and the only way to cope is to disengage with the angry person, but, Thank God, I have been blessed that on many occasions, my approach has worked.
My gift to anyone, as you say, is the gift of love and friendship and, to a certain degree, acceptance of how they behave. Sometimes allowing for a person’s behaviour is a validation of yourself.
I also wanted to add that I feel your Daily Sunshine is brilliant. So many times your comments make me think about issues that I would normally never think of. Just spending time in contemplation is a calming experience, thought provoking and encouragement. Thank you.