Arthur Boorman is a war veteran who was told he would never walk again.

He could have believed the doctors. In fact, for a while he did.

But then he found someone who helped him to believe in himself. And his life changed forever. Miracles happened. Arthur’s story is so inspirational that I had to share it with you.

“Just because I can’t do it today, doesn’t mean I’m not going to be able to do it some day.”

Arthur Boorman

How often do we let our excuses get in the way of turning our dreams into reality?

I invite you to watch the full 5 minutes of this video. Then…. see below the video…

Once you have watched the full 5 minutes of this video, how about reviewing your personal excuses. How ‘real’ are they? Really? Time to let them go?

“Never underestimate what you can accomplish, when you believe in yourself.”

Arthur Boorman

Arthur isn’t a superhero (though he’s inspirational). He doesn’t have super powers. He doesn’t have a magic wand. In most ways, he’s just like you and me. But he did have 3 things, that helped him to transform his life:

1. Inspiration
2. Motivation
3. Dedication

He was inspired to take action. Inspiration is like that match that lights the fire within us, to get started.

He was motivated to find out what steps he needed to take, to transform his life.

He was dedicated enough to keep going, even when it was difficult.

The result? Well, the video says it all.

So, having watched it, how are your old excuses doing? Fancy sharing via the comments box, below?

P.S. This article is brought to you by Daily Sunshine.

“All criticism is borne of someone else’s pain.”
Native American Indian saying

Sometimes people do stuff that’s really unacceptable.

Yes, there’s a sliding scale so ‘unacceptable’, but it’s still not ok.

It’s our tendency to retaliate in some way – perhaps by behaving unkindly or even doing something nasty to them. It’s easy to hold resentments and grudges and to allow those to colour our exoerience of relating with that person. We can direct all sorts of painful emotions towards them and even stay awake half the night, replaying the movie of how terrible their actions were.

But there’s a difference between the person and their actions – a person is not their behaviour.

The behaviour – the actions – are the outwards appearance of the person. What is deep down inside, the essence of that person, is different from their actions. At some level, they are running the same kinds of auto-pilot responses that we do. At some level, they just want to be happy, just like us.

Deep down, most people (no matter how bad their behaviour) are just muddling their way through life, without much of an instruction manual, just like us. Their choices about their behaviour might be pants, but that doesn’t make them a bad person – any more than it would make us a bad person, when we make bad choices.

So there is a difference between the person and their behaviour – the actor and the actions.

Like actors in a play, what we show the outside world isn’t necessarily the truth of who we really are, but is a script – a series of behaviours – that can change.

When we remember that, we can set ourselves free from much of the pain. We create a space between their action and our response, which can allow us to choose a response for the long-term higher good, rather than short-term retaliation.

It’s a challenging mindset shift, but it gives you back your personal power and helps you to be less impacted by others’ actions.

And it’s the key to cultivating compassion, if that’s what you choose to do.

Namaste,
Clare

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“If someone gives you feedback, try it on for size, before you believe it.”

Most of us have a tendency to be rather free and generous with our opinions – even when it comes to giving feedback to others about their performance, behaviour, beliefs, values or lifestyle.

When we’re on the receiving end of that ‘feedback’, it can be tough to know how to handle it. Whether we respect the other person’s opinion or not, it can easily bypass our usual rational filters and find its way into the ‘this is true’ part of our brain. So if someone tells us something negative, we can take it on board, believe it and – worst of all – let it cloud our future actions and decisions.

Does it pass the woolly jumper test?

Many years ago, I remember someone telling me that you find life much easier, if you treat other people’s opinions like a woolly jumper:

Try it on for size. If it fits, accept it and choose whether you want to do anything about it. If it doesn’t fit, let it go and move on.

(Remember: all criticism is borne of someone else’s pain – from last week? http://pinterest.com/pin/263601384409748875/)

How different might life be, if we could all apply the ‘woolly jumper test’ to other people’s criticism of us?

Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter.
Namaste,
Clare
P.S. This mini-article is taken from Daily Sunshine.
Did you know…?
You can get your Daily Sunshine by:

Email: http://www.clarejosa.com/daily-sunshine
Via your Facebook news feed: ‘like’ this page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Clare-Josa/315129568538055
Via Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/clare_josa
And even on Pinterest (let us know via the Facebook page, if you need an invitation!): http://www.pinterest.com/clarejosa/daily-sunshine/

We all know have those moments where a difficult emotion comes up for us. Sometimes it can seem to hang around for hours – or even days. But what most of us don’t realise is that we have a choice over how we experience our emotions. And, rather than being a passive victim to them, there are simple techniques we can use, to gently release them and then deal with the root cause. And it can be done in under five minutes.

Want to find out more?

The technique I am going to share with you today is like emotional first aid. It helps you get yourself back into a space of clear-thinking resourcefulness, so you can choose whether or not to deal with the root cause of the emotion. It’s a way of handling that emotion, without suppressing or denying it. It sets you free from feeling ‘stuck’ in it.

But before we go into the strategy, there’s a fundamental, scientifically-proven truth that I need to share with you:

Emotions are a chemical reaction in your body. That’s all.

It’s your mind that triggers the chemical reaction.

Emotions don’t have a ‘life of their own’. Unless our mind feeds the chemical reactions in our body by diving  into the ‘story’ and the ‘drama’ of the emotion, the chemical reaction will naturally come to an end, surprisingly quickly.

There are long-term dangers of suppressing and denying our emotions, which I won’t go into here – but Bruce Lipton has written brilliantly about them in his inspirational book Biology Of Belief. It’s well worth a read, especially if you’re not yet convinced by the whole ‘emotions being chemical reactions’ bit.

There’s no such thing as a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ emotion – they are, as I said, just chemical reactions. What causes the pain is the story we tell ourselves, which keeps those chemical reactions going. If you’re running one of those powerful emotions and want to deal with it, this 7 step strategy will help.

So here’s your ‘emotional first aid kit’, which you can use any time, any place. And it works. Once you have calmed and gently released the emotion, then you’re free to look at the situation, truthfully, and see if you’re ready to take action on the root cause.

If you want it to.

Note: if the emotion you’re feeling is a ‘biggie’ (like a 9 or 10 out of 10 on your emotional scale), then do this process twice. The first time, imagine you are standing opposite a mirror and the ‘you’ in the mirror is doing the process – you’re just watching them. This allows you a certain degree of detachment. Once the emotional first aid process has worked its magic and the emotion is a 6 out of 10 or below, do it again, this time for yourself, in your own body.

Emotional First Aid

1. When you feel that strong emotion, ask yourself a question that might seem a little strange, but your ‘first instinct’ response is the one you want:
   “Where in my body am I feeling this?”
   By moving your awareness of the emotion out of your thinking mind and into your physical body, you’re automatically reducing the power of the story and the drama.
   .
2. Ask yourself:
   “What colour is this emotion?”
   “What shape or size is it?”
   Yes, I know these sound like weird questions, but they work! And they’re an important way of you objectively experiencing the emotion changing, at the end of the process.
   .
3. Surround the emotion, in your physical body, with gentle, golden light. Breathe into the area and imagine you are filling that physical space with acceptance, rather than resistance or anger at the emotion. Keep doing this for a few gentle breaths, until you have a sense that the emotion has relaxed. You will know how this feels when you have done it!
   .
4. When you feel ready, breathe out the emotion or stress through your legs and out through your feet, into the earth. Release it, gently, rather than rejecting it, forcing it out or pushing it away.
   .
5. Continue for a few breaths: as you breathe in, surround the emotion with golden light and acceptance. As you breathe out, release it through your feet into the earth. Allow the physical tension in your body to flow away, as you do this. Allow this gentle cycle to continue for as long as you need it to, until you feel that the physical sensations have changed. This may be as few as 3 breaths or it may take a few minutes.
   .
6. Now go back to the physical location of that old emotion. How has it changed? How has the colour changed? How has the shape, size or location changed? It will have changed! Tap into your emotional body – how are you feeling now? If you’re feeling more grounded and centred, then move on to the next point. If you’re not feeling grounded enough yet, then repeat steps 1 through 5.
   .
7. And finally, ask yourself:
   “What is real or true about this situation?”
   This is your chance to go beyond the story or the drama that triggered the emotion and to see the essential truth of the situation, without blame, guilt, resentment or anger.
   “What is real or true here?”
   Then, when you’re ready, ask yourself:
   “What action could I take to move towards a resolution, rather than feeling stuck?”
   There is always something you can do. And if you choose an action that is based on love and kindness, rather than fear and pain, you will be taking a powerful step towards a happier life.
   When could you take that action? How will you feel when you have done it?
   Then do it!

By releasing the pain of that emotion before we choose which action to take, we are much more likely to choose a response that creates freedom and harmony, rather than more pain and icky emotions for everyone concerned. We are much less likely to end up regretting that action. And the whole emotional first aid kit can be done – anywhere – in a few moments, once you have practised it a few times!

Just imagine being able to run this process for a few breaths, before you respond to that angry email; before you reply to your boss’s criticism; before you ‘retaliate’ in an argument with your loved ones. Just imagine how releasing the painful emotions first could change the outcome to one that is no longer destructive and brings a happier outcome for all!

Not Letting Go Of That Pesky Emotion? Or It Comes Back?

If you’re still stuck, deep in that emotion, it’s worth checking why you’re attached to it. What is it doing for you? What are you scared might happen (or might not happen) if you let it go? Is that emotion being used, at an unconscious level, to make the ‘other person’ feel guilty? Are you using it to beat yourself up? Are you using it to avoid doing something?

None of that would really be helping you – and it’s well worth asking for professional help, to set you free from the cycle.

Have you tried this first aid kit? How did it work for you? Any questions or insights you’d like to share? Where could you see yourself using this? Please let us know, via the comments box.

One of the common challenges students face, when trying to silently observe their thoughts, as part of a meditation or mindfulness practice, is that their monkey mind plays games.

Our thoughts are running in the background, practically all of the time. They’re chattering, passing judgement, analysing, debating, reviewing, nagging, reminding and doing a thousand other things, while we carry on with our day. Sometimes the simple action of stopping our ‘busy-ness’ to become the observer of our thoughts can seem overwhelming.

That’s when the #1 meditation myth kicks in.

We think we have to silence our mind, to become good meditators.

Luckily that’s rubbish!
Effective meditation and mindfulness is NOT about a silent mind. Seriously, those who manage that have often practised for DECADES.

So your monkey mind telling you that you have to make it totally shut up before you’re a ‘successful meditator’ is an incredibly effective way for it to convince you to give up!

Meditation and mindfulness are NOT about ‘getting rid’ of your monkey mind – or fighting it. They’re about making peace with it; accepting it; even loving it – though not encouraging it

It’s about calm, compassionate acceptance of your monkey mind. Then, once your monkey mind no longer has to fight for your attention, it will automatically start to calm and become quieter. That’s why we talk about being a ‘silent observer’. Our monkey mind likes to suck us in to its drama and stories. When we jump in after it, it takes over control of our emotions and our responses to the world around us. We end up sleep-walking on auto-pilot, rather than living consciously, in the truth of the present moment.

Meditation and mindfulness can set us free from that painful cycle.

With regular practice and gentle discipline it is completely possible to get your monkey mind to slow down and quieten. Then you’ll find yourself more relaxed, less stressed, more at peace and more easily able to handle emotionally-charged situations. Worth the effort?

Without the regular, consistent effort, you’re not likely to see results. Ever. Sorry!

But the effort doesn’t have to be hard work. In fact, trying too hard is a key challenge for students at this stage. If you start trying too hard, you’ll tense up your body. If you’re not relaxed, you can’t meditate. When you’re feeling tense, you fill your body with extra stress hormones – especially adrenalin – putting you into ‘fight or flight’ mode. And guess what the monkey mind does? It gets louder!

So take a deep breath in, breathe out with an ‘ahhh’ sound and let go of that ‘trying hard’.

The whole ‘monkey mind’ thing really does take practice. Rather than waiting for a full-blown meditation session, it’s worth practising for a minute or two at random points in your day. How about grabbing a couple of minutes with your ‘observing the monkey mind’ practice, at random points during the day?

You could become the silent, accepting observer of your monkey mind whilst you:

• Wait for the kettle to boil.
• Sit at the traffic lights.
• Queue up to pay for your lunch.
• Brush your teeth.
• Walk from your home to your car / public transport.

There are many opportunities to play with this, during a typical day.

The key to setting yourself free from the addiction we run to the monkey mind’s games is to love it, unconditionally, as a parent would love their child.

It’s about loving and accepting your monkey mind – not its behaviour.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “What you resist persists – including the antics of your monkey mind.” (Thank you to Carl Jung for your help with that one).

Our monkey mind loves to play games with us – ’tis the nature of the beast. Once you’re cool with that, you can start retraining it, to behave in a way that supports your choice to move towards a life that’s open to inner peace and happiness. If it’s shouting, play with turning down the volume, changing the tone of voice, slowing down the words, if you think in words.

If you think in pictures, you could play with making them less bright, slowing down any motion – even stopping it – or popping them in a cloud bubble and watching them drift away.

Sometimes the mind just chatters to get our attention or sometimes it just chatters to keep us company. Be wary of getting annoyed with it (or yourself).

Take that deep breath and open up to observe. The more you play with this, the more you’ll notice your mind calming down. It will become more quiet. You’ll be giving it permission to relax – to stop racing.

Then, one day, you’ll experience the stillness between your thoughts. It can feel magical. It’s so peaceful. Then a thought bubbles up. And then it passes through. You find yourself able to choose whether or not to engage with it.

That’s when you realise that it’s not true that your mind ‘never’ quietens or that it’s ‘always’ busy.

There is a gap between each and every thought. And that’s where your inner peace lies, waiting for you to notice it.

Giving yourself permission to be the gentle, compassionate observer of your thoughts opens you up to experiencing the ‘gap’.

And, one day, you’ll realise that this gentle, but disciplined practice has helped you reach the point where the stillness of the gap is available to you, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whenever you choose to reach out and touch it.

How about choosing to become the silent observer of your thoughts for the next minute, right now?

This article is a bonus article from the 28 Day Meditation Challenge. It’s all about discovering how 10 minutes a day can change your life… Want to find out more?

We all know the scenario – we desperately want to make changes but, no matter how hard we try, we find ourself slipping back to our old habits. What’s going on with this? Why does it all go wrong? How come it’s so hard to create a new habit?

Discover the 3 essential steps to make a new habit stick, along with the single reason why we usually fail.

What’s the single biggest reason why we don’t manage to change a habit?

Because we hadn’t really chosen to make the change.

The easiest way to create habit is to choose to do it.

I know that probably sounds stupid, but it’s amazing how often we try and create a habit, when we haven’t really bought into the change we want to make. We are doing it because somebody else tells us to or we think we ought to.

The easiest way to create habit is to really understand why you want to do it. Then all you need to do is create a rhythm in your day; a routine; something that will remind you to do it and something that will help you celebrate the fact that you did. It also helps to track how you are making progress.

The 3 steps to a new habit:

• Inspiration is what gives us the idea to get started.
• Motivation really gets us going.
• But it is routine and consistent efforts that, together, create the change.

Inspiration can come from anywhere. It could be someone you know, something you read, or even a dream. It’s like the firing pistol, to start your mission to make that change. But it can be hard to move from inspiration to actually getting started.

That’s where motivation comes in. Motivation is like the fuel that moves us to action. It’s the first step of dreams becoming reality. Knowing why you want to make the change can often help you get through this stage and keep you motivated. But, again, that fuel is finite, especially if it’s taking a while to see results.

So to create lasting change, you need something else: routine. The discipline to keep going and turn your first steps into a rhythm – a routine – is what makes the difference between a ‘nice idea’ and a new habit.

Ancient Sanskrit (the language in which many of the ancient meditation & yogic practices were originally taught) has a special word for this consistent effort: abhyasa. Without abhyasa, even the most enthusiastic student is unlikely to see tangible progress. So motivating yourself to allow your new habit to become part of your daily routine is crucial for achieving the results you are looking for.

Discipline – abhyasa – is about doing what needs to be done, even if you’re not in the mood.

Think about how you would normally motivate yourself to do something. What has worked for you in the past? How did you remind yourself? What kinds of incentives worked?

How did you create and then establish the change in your routine?

Apply what you know works for you and then, over time, as your skill improves, you’ll find you really start enjoying your 10 minutes of meditation. You’ll find yourself looking forward to it. You’ll crave it, and your old habit will just fall away.

It’s not about fighting and ‘getting rid of’ the old habit. It’s about gently cultivating the new habit, so that the old habit becomes redundant. Then it’s easy to let it go!

Creating a new habit is as much about remembering to do it as it is about how you do it.

Once you see positive results, your new habit will become self-sustaining. While you are getting to that point, the routine and the habit are the key. It’s about gently, but firmly, conditioning yourself to expect the new behaviour.

For example if you have a habit of buying a doughnut every time you walk past the bakers at 11 o’clock in the morning, your body and mind become conditioned to expect it. Your body and mind will even give you signals, to remind you to go past the bakers, if you forget to on a day.

It is the same with any new behaviour. Getting into the rhythm – the routine – of it is what turns it from an “I must remember to…” into a subconscious, automatic habit.

So the rhythm, the routine and the habit are what create the change – and that is what will get you the results you are looking for.

Is there a change you want to make right now? Is there a habit you want to cultivate?

How about having your say via the comments box, below? And perhaps letting us all know how you could use abhyasa – the discipline of cultivating the new routine – to help your dreamed changes become your new reality?

This article is a bonus article from the 28 Day Meditation Challenge. It’s all about discovering how 10 minutes a day can change your life… Want to find out more?

Seth Godin has a unique way of cutting through the fluff and clutter, to present his inspirational message in a way you can take action on – fast.

And ‘Tribes‘ is no exception.

What ‘Tribes’ isn’t:

This isn’t a ‘how to’ book. It’s not going to take you, step by step, holding your hand through process that Seth would recommend. It does far more than that.

What ‘Tribes’ is:

Tribes is a  book that kicks your butt to step up and move into your personal Dharma – your service. It helps you see through the excuses and fears that have kept you from living your dream and your passion; that have kept you playing small.

Most of us have been ‘sleepwalking’ through life (Seth calls it ‘sheepwalking’!).

We have a dream. We know we’re here to ‘do something’. We know, deep down, that we want to change the world. But we’re so stuck in the ‘old ways of thinking’, that we’ll reach our deathbed, without ever taking action.

Our biggest regrets will always be the things we didn’t do, rather than the risks we chose to take.

In ‘Tribes‘, Seth helps you wake yourself up. He shows you, clearly and simply, that no matter who you are, what you do or where you work, there are things you can do to make a difference.

This book helps you realise that you are here to live and breathe your passion – and that you can do that starting today – no more excuses. He then helps you figure out the importance of your tribe – those who are ready to hear your message. And those people are out there, today, waiting for you, even if they don’t know it yet.

You don’t have to be a manager; you don’t have to be an entreprener; you don’t have to have a position of authority – your tribe is waiting for you. They already share your interests and they’re waiting for someone with passion and courage to help them see how they can change things.

As I said, this book isn’t a ‘how to’ guide.

Instead, Seth takes each of your limiting beliefs and fears and busts them.

The simple act of reading this book – and trying his ideas on for size – has the potential to change your life. It has the potential to inspire you to become the leader of your tribe, to release your fears, to break out of your comfort zone and to initiate change.

Once you’re there, the ‘how’ will find you.

Are you ready to break free from sheep-like behaviour and step into your life’s purpose?

I know it’s scary. I know it can seem difficult. I know it could be outside of your comfort zone. But it’s time. That inner voice, calling you, is getting louder and louder.

Don’t wait till it has to scream at you.

It’s time to make a start.

And sharing the journey with others can make the difference between a ‘nice idea’ and living the life of your dreams.

Want to take a teeny first step?

Join our Ripple Effect group on The Transformation Club today (it’s free!) and connect with others who are leaving the world of ‘sheepiness’ behind them.

Learning meditation is much easier with a good teacher. And face-to-face classes can work better for many than online courses or books, because of the moral support, the interaction between students and the weekly ‘nudge’, to keep your practice fresh.

• But how do you know if a particular meditation class is right for you?
• How do you know whether the teacher will actually be able to help you?
• How can you find out whether their ‘style’ of meditation is what you’re looking for?

Here are 10 questions you should ask, BEFORE going to a meditation class!

There’s a huge difference between ‘deep relaxation’, ‘guided visualisations’, meditation and even ‘blatant brainwashing’.

But, surprisingly, not all meditation teachers know this! Some are formally trained to teach, others aren’t. Both options are ok. But it’s worth making sure you know what you want from your meditation classes – and what you might be getting – before you invest your time, money and emotions in a course.

Quit the class, not your meditation journey!

Warning! The ‘wrong’ meditation class could put you off meditating, for life! If a class doesn’t feel right / work for you, that’s fine. Quit and find another one.

Of course, you’ll want to include the obvious questions like when, where, how much, what kind of meditation (if that’s important to you), what equipment you need, etc. But the following 10 questions will give you a good idea of whether the class is for you.

10 Questions you should ask, before signing up for a meditation class!

Read them through and make a note of which resonate for you. They’re the ones to start with.

1. What happens during one of your classes?
   This is probably more important than ‘what kind of meditation do you teach?’ because, unless you’re already an expert on different kinds of meditation, you can’t do much with that answer!
   What you’re looking for here is how they prepare you to meditate and then how the meditation ‘works’.
   Do you turn up stressed and tired and go straight into silent sitting, or do you prepare your body and mind first?
   Is the meditation itself guided or ‘free form’?
   There’s no ‘right or wrong’. What matters is how well the class structure fits with what you are looking for.
   .
2. Are your classes affiliated with any particular religious beliefs or practices?
   Some meditation teachers require you to adopt particular belief systems – or their work might be firmly grounded in a particular religion.
   Again, there’s no right or wrong. But if you have strong views on this, it’s an important question to ask.
   And this is the point to probe to beware of potential brain washing!
   .
3. What are your qualifications?
   Meditation classes are one of the biggies for unqualified teachers, charging you to teach you a new skill.
   You wouldn’t consider, for example, a yoga or pilates class from an unqualified teacher.
   Some meditation teachers, who aren’t formally trained, can run inspiring classes that really help you create a strong meditation habit.
   Some can’t.
   There can be a huge difference between being a good meditator and being a good meditation teacher.
   If this is important to you, ask the question. And feel free, when they respond, to ask what their training involved!
   .
4. How do I know whether your classes are safe for me? (Physically and psychologically)
   Some kinds of meditation are a really bad idea if you’re suffering from, for example, clinical depression. Other types, however, are clinically proven to help.
   Some kinds of sitting meditation are a bad idea if you have back or knee problems. Others aren’t.
   Ask the teacher. If they can’t give you a clear answer, and it’s something that concerns you, then steer clear.
   .
5. How can you help me with my posture, for my meditations?
   For seated meditations, good posture can make all the difference between a great meditation and 30 minutes of physical agony!
   A good teacher should be able to tell you how they could help you tweak your posture to make things more comfortable – and physically more healthy for you.
   .
6. How much of the meditation will be silent vs guided?
   Some meditation types are exclusively silent. Some meditation teachers talk most of the way through. Many are in-between.
   Ask the teacher which they use in the classes.
   If it’s mainly guided visualisations, then it’s possibly more deep relaxation than meditation. But it might still be what you’re looking for.
   If it’s almost completely silent, then you might struggle with this, especially at the beginning, when your ‘monkey mind’ is causing havoc.
   .
7. How will you help me develop my skills?
   In ANY subject, a good teacher has a plan of how to help the students get from ‘wherever they are now’ to ‘wherever they need to go’. And a meditation teacher is no exception.
   If you want to deepen your meditation skills, rather than just go for weekly relaxation, then it’s worth asking how you will be TAUGHT to do this. After all, that’s the point of a TEACHER!
   .
8. How much home practice is expected of me?
   How much and how often will you need to meditate at home, to be able to benefit from the classes?
   Beware any teacher who says ‘none’. Think about it: EVERY skill you have EVER learned took practice – and most likely more than once a week.
   Also beware any teacher who asks you to commit to more than you think you could achieve, e.g. an hour, twice a day. If you don’t think you can do it, you won’t. And then you won’t be making progress. You’ll more likely just beat yourself up and feel miserable.
   .
9. What support is there between classes?
   Sometimes you might find you’re stuck on something from a previous class. Do you have to wait until the next class, to get answers?
   Sometimes meditation can ‘stir the pot’ or give us experiences we hadn’t been expecting. How can you check whether things are ‘ok’ or ‘normal’, between classes?
   Bear in mind that your meditation teacher isn’t obliged to be a free-of-charge therapist for you. But neither should they leave you unsupported, between sessions.
   .
10. How long before I notice I am making progress?
    Don’t believe anyone who tells you to expect near-instant results. But also be wary of anyone who tells you it will take months or years.
    People who aren’t trained to teach probably won’t be able to answer this question, because it’s not on their radar.
    If this question resonates for you, make sure you probe their answer, to find out what ‘progress’ is likely to feel like. Will you only notice it in classes? Or will you notice an impact outside of classes, in the rest of your life?
    .
    And, if you’re feeling cheeky, here’s a final question you might like to ask:
    .
11. What daily meditation practice do you do?
    You might be surprised by their answer…
    Many meditation teachers don’t have a regular, daily meditation habit. It’s so easy for it to disappear, when you’re running around teaching. But how can they ask you to do something they’re not managing themselves? And if they do have a daily practice, they’ll be ideally placed to help you learn how to fit your meditation in around day-to-day life.

Remember: whatever the answers, if you’re not sure, it’s ok to ask if you can do a trial class, without committing to the whole course, to see if it’s for you. Depending on the course structure, this may or may not be possible. But it never hurts to ask!

Now we’ve covered the 10 questions, I’m going to let you in to a secret…

I have NEVER been asked ANY of these questions by prospective students. But if they did ask me, here’s what I would reply.

Do you have any other suggestions for questions it would be a good idea to ask of a potential meditation teacher? I’d love to hear your views, via the comments box!

Note: this is a bonus article from the 28 Day Meditation Challenge online course & paperback / Kindle book. Curious to find out how 10 minutes a day could change your life?

Did you know that most people who give up on meditation do so because the class they attended wasn’t right for them, rather than because meditation isn’t for them?

In a previous article, I suggested the 10 questions you should ask, BEFORE going to a meditation class, to make sure that doesn’t happen to you. It’s essential to do your homework, before you sign up.

And I figured it was only fair if I share my answers to these questions, if prospective students ask me them!

1. What happens during one of your classes?
   There’s more to my classes than ‘sit down and shut up’!
   Usually, when students arrive at a meditation class, they’ve been rushing around with their busy day. They are likely to feel tired and their mind might be racing, not to mention their system is probably pumped up with adrenalin.
   So we never meditate until we have let go of tension and relaxed the mind and the body.Meditation has 3 key components:
   • Relaxation
   • Acceptance
   • Focus & concentration

   Without relaxation, it’s really difficult to accept your environment, to accept your body and to accept your mind. Without relaxation and acceptance, concentrating on your meditation practice will be challenging.
   So walking in ‘off the street’, plonking your backside on a meditation cushion, closing your eyes and expecting to somehow reach Nirvana is unrealistic.
   In my classes, we start with phsycial exercise – they’re called ‘activations’. I stick on good music & we do various exercises that are designed to release physical tension and help the body wake up and relax. All of this is adaptable to any level of physical ability.
   Then we might do a series of yoga-style movements, to help bring the mind ‘back down to earth’ and to help you concentrate.
   We’ll often follow this with a gorgeous deep relaxation, which helps you really let go, unwind and recharge.
   Only then do we meditate.
   All this might sound like a lot of work to do, before meditating. But the way I see it, your weekly class is your ‘gold standard’ meditation for the week. It’s when you’re committing an hour or two to deepening your meditation practice. So why not allow it to work really well for you?
   For beginners, there’s still time for a 20 minute meditation. For more advanced students, the time builds up to 40-60 minutes, over the months.
   .

2. Are your classes affiliated with any particular religious beliefs or practices?
   No!
   The type of meditation I was formally trained in is based on the Ancient Sanskrit teachings, from thousands of years ago, before Buddhism and Hinduism split. However, I also include mindfulness practices, techniques from Native American teachings and many other traditions. It is really important to me that meditation – and its amazing benefits – are available to everyone. So there’s no way my students would ever be expected to take on any beliefs or practices that don’t resonate for them.
   .
3. What are your qualifications?
   I am a formally trained – and qualified – Dru meditation teacher.
   This means I undertook a 3 year course of residential modules, daily practice, assignments, tests and assessments, before I began to teach. Our training didn’t just teach us how to meditate. It taught us how to teach meditation – safely and effectively.
   I have also been an NLP Trainer (Neuro-linguistic programming) for a decade now. This means I am very experienced in the practical psychology of helping people to retrain their minds, to break old habits and create new ones; to release old excuses; to keep motivated, even if they’re feeling too tired or busy. I weave this into my meditation teaching, to help students find it easier to learn how to meditate.
   NLP Trainer Training also taught me how to teach people at different levels of conscious awareness – for example the thinking mind vs the unconscious mind – and I also studied how to teach using accelerated learning techniques. All of this – and much, much more – is part of the package my students receive, usually without realising it.
   ..
4. How do I know whether your classes are safe for me? (Physically and psychologically)
   My meditation teacher training had a major focus on keeping the physical aspects of practice safe and accessible to all, including during the activations and posture for sitting meditation. We also studied the potential contra-indications, psychologically, and were taught how to help people find a type of meditation that will work for them, whatever their circumstances – even if it means finding another teacher!
   .
5. 

   An example of painful posture!

   How can you help me with my posture, for my meditations?
   Firstly, you don’t have to sit on the floor and turn your legs into a pretzel! All our seated meditations can be done on a chair. I have been trained in how to help people achieve good meditation posture, as this can make the difference between agony and inner peace! My husband is a Bowen Therapist and Shiatsu Therapist, so he is able to advise, should a student want to make longer-term improvements in their general physical posture and well-being.
   
   

6. How much of the meditation will be silent vs guided?
   This depends on the syllabus for that week. Generally, for people who are new to meditation, it makes sense for the meditations to have a clear element of guidance, with silent periods. If you don’t do this, most people find their mind races, their body fidgets and they forget what they were ‘supposed’ to be doing.
   For more advanced students, the guidance reduces and the periods of silence extend.
   I don’t use background music for meditations – how can I ask you to quieten your mind and focus your attention, if I’m distracting you with tinkly music in the background?
   .
7. How will you help me develop my skills?
   I don’t do drop-in classes.
   Simple.
   Meditation is a skill that requires regular practice. If you wanted to learn to play a musical instrument, you wouldn’t expect to make progress by turning up every few lessons for a quick play and then not practicing.
   I recommend that people don’t bother with a meditation class, unless they actually want to learn to meditate. I know that might sound silly, but many people are actually looking for deep relaxation, rather than meditation. In that case, relaxation classes or a good yoga class would benefit them more.
   Classes are structured to be progressive – one week builds gently on the previous. If you miss a class or two say, due to holidays or illness, you can easily catch up. But if you haven’t made a real commitment to your classes, and treat them as an ‘as and when’, then you’re likely to be disappointed with your progress.
   .
8. How much home practice is expected of me?
   I ask my students to practice, between classes.
   I know we’re all busy. But without some kind of practice, you won’t improve your meditation skills!
   It’s realistic to ask yourself to find 10 minutes a day to practice. Whether you practice seated meditation, mindfulness, concentration or deep relaxation – the choice is yours. But 10 minutes each day, as many days a week as you can manage, means your meditation classes have the chance to impact your life, at a gently profound level.
   Students who struggle to find 10 minutes usually find they’ve got that sussed after completing the 28 Day Meditation Challange! In fact, many of my students choose to do the 28 days, when they’re first starting their meditation journey, because it’s a  great way to lay the foundations of home-based meditation practice.
   .
9. What support is there between classes?
   If you have a burning question or concern, all students have my personal email address and my mobile phone number. If it’s a more general question, then all my students are automatically eligible to join the invitation-only online forum, as part of The Transformation Club. This means they can get support from others on a meditation journey, as well as from me.
   Students who have chosen this option have found great encouragement and moral-support from sharing their journey with others.
   .
10. How long before I notice I am making progress?
    After your first class, you will typically feel more relaxed and students often describe a feeling of relief, at being able to let go of stresses or tension.
    How fast you make progress depends on how often you practice (regular practice is more important than length of practice) and how stressed you are at the beginning.
    Sometimes, if life has been really stressful, you would actually benefit more from a few months of daily deep relaxation, rather than trying to push yourself into meditation.
    Most people find that they are  noticing changes, from a daily 10 minute practice, after a week or two. By the end of their first month, most people are enjoying their meditation time and finding ways to adapt it, to work for them.
    However, everyone is unique. The key is acceptance – don’t expect ‘bright lights’ or ‘Angelic guides’. In fact, these can be distractions, if you experience them! Go with the process, practice gently, but regularly, and make sure you have your ‘eyes wide open’ to spot the changes that meditation is bringing into your life.
    .
    And, if you’re feeling cheeky, here’s a final question you might like to ask:
    .
11. What daily meditation practice do you do?
    Here I have to confess that there have been times when my daily meditation practice has disappeared completely. And these have taught me how essential it is!
    Nowadays, despite 2 boys under 7 and a young baby, I do at least 1 hour per day. I stay awake after the baby’s last night feed, around 5:30 a.m., and do up to an hour of mantra meditation (japa) and pranayama meditation (special breathing techniques). If I miss the morning session (rare), I can feel tense and tired all day.
    If I’m really lucky, I manage to steal half an hour for silent sitting meditation, when the boys have their bath and story time.
    The key to getting this back in balance was accepting that, for a long while, my meditation time won’t be ‘perfect’ – i.e. quiet, on my own and with no interruptions. Once I let go of this, the time miraculously appeared.
    [Note: I don't ask my students to do an hour a day! 10 minutes, for beginners, is plenty to cultivate a regular meditation habit. ]
    

If you live anywhere near Forest Row, East Sussex, UK, here’s where you can find out more about my face-to-face classes and weekend seminars.

If you don’t live nearby, you might like to check out our thriving 28 Day Meditation Challenge online course. It’s a great way to discover how just 10 minutes a day of meditation could change your life.

Namaste,

“Any choice made from freedom creates more freedom.”

James Twyman

How are you feeling about your choices?

Yet our choices are usually made from a place that is far from freedom. You can spot it in the language we use:

• I have to…
• I must…
• I ought to…
• I should…

Where’s the choice and freedom in that?

And freedom is, to a large extent, a matter of mindset.

Why do we set our minds to feel trapped and not free?

Could it be as simple as flicking a switch, to make that shift?

Yes!

I have lost count of the number of times I have used this technique with clients and it works every time – if they choose it to!

Here’s the secret:

Swap your ‘should’, ‘have to’, ‘must’ and ‘ought’ for ‘choose to’.

Try it out now – even with something mundane!

“I have to do the laundry.”
or
“I choose to do the laundry.”

Which one feels better?

How about shifting more of your choices to come from a place of freedom today?

Let us know how you get on via the comments box!

Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter,

Namaste,