Some of my students challenged me, the other day, to prove to them how meditation and mindfulness can make a difference in all areas of their life – and they meant all! Let’s just say I hope my mum doesn’t read this article! Want to find out 7 surprising ways that meditation can improve your sex life? Read on!
A sex life that needs ‘improving’ might range from being stagnant and mundane through to being disconnected from each other or simply not enjoying it.
Or it might already be great and you want to make it fantastic.
Wherever you’re starting from, meditation and mindfulness can improve things – in surprising ways.
- Meditation Cuts Your Stress Levels
Putting aside physical issues or previous abuse, the number one reason why people don’t enjoy their sex life is because they’re feeling stressed and you’re a million miles from feeling relaxed.
If you’re stressed, you can’t let go and enjoy life. You’ll be distracted by whatever is stressing you.
Even if you’re using sex as a form of stress relief, it still won’t be as good as if you weren’t feeling stressed in the first place.
There’s no way you’ll enjoy it as much as you would if you were feeling relaxed and happy.
Scientists have finally proven what regular meditators have known for thousands of years – that meditation cuts your stress levels and helps you to relax.
Want proof? Read more here: Psychologists Finally Discover What Meditators Have Known For Thousands Of Years (And You’ll Want To Know It, Too).
And here’s an article to help you break free from your mind’s stress stories, if you want to know more: Is your Monkey Mind telling you the truth about stress?.
- Meditation Makes You Healthier
Healthier people tend to have more stamina and enjoy physical exercise more. I don’t think I need to elaborate!
Researchers have proven that meditation not only cuts your stress levels, but it can lower blood pressure and even strengthen your heart. 🙂
- ‘When’ Are You? Come Back Here, Now!
We often ask people who look like they’re day-dreaming ‘where’ they are – but perhaps a better question might be ‘when’ they are? If we’re not ‘here’, in this present moment, then we’re either somewhere in the past or hanging around in an as-yet imaginary future.
How can you best enjoy those special moments with your partner if you’re not really ‘here’ in the ‘now’?
Your sex life will improve massively if you train yourself – day to day – to live in the moment and to connect, here and now, with yourself and those around you. Then it will already be second nature by the time things start to heat up.
And that leads me on to…
- Coming Back To Your Senses
Yes, there are definitely emotional, psychological and even spiritual aspects to a good sex life – you have to be ‘in the mood’ – but being ‘in your body’, rather than ‘stuck in your thinking mind’ is a key ingredient for actually noticing what you’re doing, while you’re doing it, and hopefully enjoying it more!
Becoming more aware of the sensory experience of life is a wonderful side effect of regular meditation and mindfulness practice, so how about making the most of it, when you’re after that sensual experience?
- Get Your Monkey Mind To Shut Up, For Once!
Ok, so it might not totally shut up, but at least get it to turn down the volume!
Our minds have been trained for decades to evaluate, to critique, to run commentary, to remind us of stuff and to generally chatter away, telling us whichever random story it finds most interesting, in that moment.
All rather distracting when you’d rather have your mind on something else!
There are, after all, times when remembering to buy dishwasher tablets really isn’t so important.
Fortunately as little as 10 minutes a day of regular meditation can help you to retrain your Monkey Mind, so it knows who the boss is. And that’s kind of handy, if you want it to shut up and disappear into the background and leave off distracting you!
- Get Your Inner Critic Out Of The Way
No one likes to remind you about your wobbly bits, or that time at college when it went horribly and embarrasingly wrong, than your inner critic. And it’s a fabulous way to make yourself feel self-conscious and insecure – not a great recipe for enjoying that magic moment with someone special.
Fortunately regular meditation helps you take back control of your Monkey Mind and helps you to retrain your inner critic to be more of a cheer leader than a wet blanket.
And the benefits of that don’t stop at the bedroom door – just imagine what finally sorting your inner critic could do for you at work or in other areas of your life?
- You’ll Feel More Confident And Happier
Regular meditation helps you to feel more confident, happier, healthier and more vibrantly alive. There’s more on this at How To Spot Someone Who Meditates Regularly.
We all know how much more attractive a confident person is than one who is filled with self-doubt and worry.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling self-doubt and worry, if that’s what floats your boat, but if it’s not where you want to be any more, then it’s time to take action.
As little as a minute or ten of mindfulness each day will soon make a difference for you.
- Bonus: Pranayama – Breathing In Harmony
A great sex life starts with a great connection. And one of the fastest ways to connect is to build rapport. As an NLP Trainer for more than a decade, and in my meditation classes, I can confirm that one of the fastest ways to build rapport with someone – to relax into each other’s presence and to connect at a deep level – is through breathing in rhythm.
Breathing in a meditative way is often called ‘pranayama’. It’s a massive area to study, so I won’t dive into it now. But, if you’d like to experience that breath harmony connection, I’ve got a treat for you.
Want a really simple breath meditation you can do together? Here’s a 3 Minute Belly Breathing Meditation. Do it while sitting opposite each other and gently staring into each other’s eyes and watch the fireworks start!
So there you have it: 8 magical ways that meditation and mindfulness can help to improve your sex life!
I’d love to hear your views (please keep it clean! ;-)).
Any insights? Any questions? Please share via the comments box!
Clare Josa is an NLP Trainer and Meditation Teacher, who walks her talk, practising what she teaches on a daily basis. It’s the only way she stays sane, with her work and 3 young kids!
She is the author of 52 Mindful Moments, The Little Book Of Daily Sunshine, the 28 Day Meditation Challenge and a hugely popular Gratitude Journal.
If you’d like to learn to meditate online, in bite-sized chunks that suit even the busiest of lives, then the Weekly Online Mindfulness Course – 52 Mindful Moments breaks it down into a five minute lesson, each week. If you’d like to fast-track your meditation experience, and make changes you’ll love in under a month, in just 10-15 minutes a day, then the 28 Day Meditation Challenge is for you.