Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker

UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author

Search Results for: monkey mind

Gratitude Week 6: Why It’s Quality, Not Quantity, That Counts When It Comes To Your Monkey Mind

A Year Full Of Gratitude
A Year Full Of Gratitude
Gratitude Week 6: Why It's Quality, Not Quantity, That Counts When It Comes To Your Monkey Mind
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In this week’s gratitude podcast, we’re talking about why it’s quality, not quantity, that counts when it comes to your Monkey Mind. I’m spilling the beans on why we sometimes do those deep, sighing breaths at the start of a gratitude minute – and how you can use all of this to feel happier, fast – and more easily.

 

Tweetables:

Happiness is appreciating what IS, rather than being upset about what ISN'T.Click To Tweet
How to use gratitude to set you free from those 3am worries - without white-washing.Click To Tweet

 

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I’ll be back next week with week 7 when I’ll share my secrets for keeping yourself motivated – and we’ll also explore how to handle life’s ‘brown stuff’ with gratitude and authenticity – it’s a white-washing-free zone!

See you then.

x Clare

Clare Josa

Mentor to Passionate World Changers

P.S. Not got the book yet? Here’s where to order your copy today.

 

Loved This & Want More?

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What Is Your Monkey Mind Trying To Tell You?

How To Change Your Life

I don’t know about you, but most of us seem to have what the meditation world calls a monkey mind. I call it my grasshopper mind, because it can flit from one thing to the next with an amazing level of skill, constantly hopping around, making plenty of noise and rarely still.

When we sit for silent meditation, or try to practise mindfulness, we often find that our biggest challenges, such as knees hurting or back aching, are nothing compared to the chattering of our mind. Yet, although we might not be aware of where the thoughts come from, we can do something about them.

You don’t have to ignore your monkey mind.

And remember the #1 meditation myth? Meditation and mindfulness are not about making your monkey mind shut up!

Sometimes our monkey mind is trying to get a message through to us. It might be worried that we’re going to forget to do something; sometimes it’s telling us about things we are afraid of; sometimes it’s just used to filling in the chatter so we don’t feel lonely; sometimes we have just got into the habit of having an unconscious commentary running of everything we are seeing and doing.

When your monkey mind is shouting and yelling, it’s worth sitting quietly for a moment and asking yourself why. Is there a message it’s trying to get to you? Is there something you need to know?

Often, if you listen without judgement or interaction, the monkey mind can have its say and then relax. Sometimes it helps to jot down the thing it wanted you to remember, so you can let go of it and get on with your meditation.

What Are Some Of The Games A Monkey Mind Can Play? And What Can You Do About Them?

I’m curious: what are the games that your monkey mind plays, when you’re trying to meditate or practise mindfulness?

Here are some of the ways that my meditation students have experienced it:

  • Getting bored
    Your monkey mind tells you it’s feeling bored. It tells you that meditation is boring. It can be pretty convincing.Of course meditation is boring for a monkey mind that is used to running the show, at faster than the speed of sound…But accepting that your mind is playing the ‘bored game’ and allowing yourself to go more deeply into your practice will prove to your monkey mind that meditation is far from boring!
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  • Playing music
    Your monkey mind has usually been trained to be scared of silence. So, even if you manage to accept your thoughts, it might try new tactics, such as playing music or singing a catchy song.Again – just accept this. Stick the music on the conveyer belt or whichever other technique is working for you.Turn down the volume. Slow down the tempo, if it starts yelling for attention.Don’t engage. Don’t get annoyed. Don’t play the game. Just practise accepting it and let it go. It will eventually get the idea.
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  • Reminding you about your ‘to do’ list
    Classic trick, this one! Again – you know it’s not true. It’s VERY rare that something won’t wait 10 minutes.Stick it on the conveyer belt!

A previous student on my online meditation course shared:

“For the first time *ever* in lots of ‘trying and failing’, I got some sense of what it is like to watch thoughts and actually observe them, moving on. I love the conveyer belt.”

 

Another shared a great tip for accepting – and not engaging, with your thoughts:

“I chose to sit outside a cave, in the sunshine, while my thoughts stayed in the cave. They seemed quieter; more distant. And it made it harder for me to interact with them – easier to accept them and just let them be.”

Quick Exercise:

What are your monkey mind’s games? They’re different for each of us.

And how do you deal with them?

What has worked for you?

What could you do differently, to make peace with your monkey mind?

Do You See What’s Going On?

Often we’re not even aware of the fact that we’re living our life according to the whim of the monkey mind. It is triggering our emotions and filtering our experience of life, without our conscious permission. Sounds scary? Yet this is what we have spent many years training it to do!

And we have spent a lifetime, learning to ignore its behaviour and pretend it isn’t there.

The mind’s ‘default setting’ is thinking, not awareness, peace, stillness or being. So it’s no wonder that it objects, when we dare to suggest it might quieten down for our meditation time…

How to tame a multi-tasking mind

Many of us have trained our mind to need to think of many things at once. It’s a real skill. But it doesn’t help you to relax, de-stress or learn to meditate. An interesting question (that sends your mind into a spin!) is:

“What won’t happen if I don’t think of three things at once?”

What won’t happen if your mind doesn’t chatter three conversations at once? Just let an answer bubble up for you, without analysing or judging it. This can help you unlock the key of why you have been feeding your monkey mind. Are you scared of silence? Are you scared things won’t get done? Are you trying to avoid thinking about something else?

Usually the answer to that question contains hints on how to set yourself free from that old grasshopper mind habit. If the answer feels uncomfortable, don’t dive into the drama.

Thinking isn’t ‘bad’.

But an out-of-control mind produces thinking that is ‘unconscious’, ‘unaware’. This feeds our love of drama, creating painful emotional states and keeping us stuck worrying about the past or stressing about the future.

So it is ‘untamed’ thinking that is the issue, not the presence of the thoughts.

It is our attachment to the thoughts that causes the pain, not the fact that they exist.

Be gentle, but firm, with your monkey mind.

Remember that with every breath we can choose to make a fresh start. Anything the monkey mind is telling us about our past belongs just there.

Having chosen to go on a meditation journey, you’re already taking positive steps towards creating a new future.

Meditation and mindfulness can really, really help calm a monkey mind, but you need to be careful which kind of meditation you pick. For example the types of meditation where you sit silently for hours might not be the best place for you to start, if your monkey mind stresses you out.

Mindfulness, which we are looking at next week, is about being fully present and aware of the moment – including your thoughts. It can be a lot easier for somebody who’s running a strong monkey mind pattern.

Practical solutions for today

You might like to experiment with some subtle tweaks you can make to remind your grasshopper mind who’s boss and calm it a little. You are the boss of your monkey mind, whether it accepts it or not!

If your thoughts are mainly words:

  • How about telling your thoughts to slow down? Cutting the speed at which your mind is speaking can help cut your stress levels dramatically.
  • And when you have played with that, how about changing the volume, making it quieter?
  • You could experiment with changing the tone of the conversation that you are hearing in your head and making it sound kinder and softer.

If your thoughts are mainly pictures:

  • How about slowing down any movement in the pictures? This can really help you relax.
  • If the pictures are bright and colourful, you could tone them down a little.
  • If they are big, you could make them smaller.

All this – and plenty more – is possible. You just need to play with the techniques.

Don’t wait till you’re meditating – practise these techniques at any time of day when you want to quieten your mind and de-stress.

If your monkey mind is a bit rebellious, there’s something you can do to get it to help you, instead of hindering your meditation journey:

Give your monkey mind a job to do, while you’re meditating!

For example, it could be ‘in charge’ of reminding you, when your attention drifts. Or perhaps it might like to be the ‘boss’ of letting you know how your big toe on your left foot is feeling. The job doesn’t have to be serious!

Your mind is used to working very hard and, like any workaholic, it finds it hard to switch off. It deserves your compassion – but not your sympathy! It’s time for you to get back in the driving seat….

So my invitation to you today is to play with understanding what your monkey mind might be trying to tell you – and then to remind it who’s boss – lovingly, but firmly.

Want to tell us your Monkey Mind’s favourite games? Or discover how others are handling theirs? I’d love to hear from you, via the comments!

Affirmation

I give my monkey mind permission to let go, just for ten minutes.

And if you’d love to make meditation – even just 10 minutes – part of your daily routine, then you’ll love my 10 week online programme: How To Meditate. I’d be honoured to share the journey with you.

With love, Namaste,

CJ Sig

Week 4: Making Friends With Your Monkey Mind

[vc_row type=”in_container” bg_position=”left top” bg_repeat=”no-repeat” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” top_padding=”22″][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_video link=”https://vimeo.com/122171991″][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]How are you getting on so far? I’d love to hear from you, over at the private forum.

This week we’re making friends with your Monkey Mind!

The more you dive into creating your meditation habit, the more you’ll notice the games your Monkey Mind – that inner chatter – likes to play. But we’re not going to run from them. Instead we’re going to tackle them, head-on. And it’s easier than you might think!

We’re moving on to our second meditation this week, so make sure you download it at the link below.

I’d love to hear how you’re getting on, via the forum discussion threads. And do let me know if you have any questions – you can reply to any of the emails to reach me & my team.

With love, Namaste,

CJ Sig
P.S. Please excuse my flu-head in the video this week! xx C.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” bg_position=”left top” bg_repeat=”no-repeat” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” top_padding=”22″][vc_column width=”1/4″][image_with_animation image_url=”11740″ alignment=”center” animation=”Fade In” img_link_target=”_self” img_link=”https://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/beyondalchemyltd-28daymeditationchallenge/MP3s/Meditation2.mp3″][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″][vc_column_text]

Stage 2 Meditation

Listen to this meditation each day for the next few weeks. It’s best if you right click on this link to download it. But you can also listen online by clicking the arrow below.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]

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My top tip for week 4?
arrow-no-bgClick To Tweet: What you resist persists – and that includes your Monkey Mind.

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How to join our private Facebook group?

Click on this link to go to Dancing In Your Soul-Shoes. Then click on the ‘join group’ button and I’ll get your membership approved ASAP!

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Week 4 Affirmation:

I choose to make friends with my Monkey Mind.

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Week 4 Discussion Topics – Click on the image to go straight to the link

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/3″][image_with_animation image_url=”19981″ alignment=”center” animation=”Fade In” img_link_target=”_blank” img_link=”https://www.facebook.com/CJosa/photos/a.315620685155610.90141.315129568538055/909557285761944/?type=1&theater”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/3″][image_with_animation image_url=”19980″ alignment=”center” animation=”Fade In” img_link_target=”_blank” img_link=”https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152756068241238&set=pcb.392823007555167&type=1&theater”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/3″][image_with_animation image_url=”19979″ alignment=”center” animation=”Fade In” img_link_target=”_blank” img_link=”https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152756068256238&set=pcb.392823007555167&type=1&theater”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]Coming soon – what is your Monkey Mind trying to tell you?[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]Coming soon – how to stop your ‘to do’ list from getting in the way of your meditation time[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

You Shouldn’t Ignore That Pesky Monkey Mind – Because You Get What You Believe…

How To Change Your Life

I was working with a mentoring client recently who is talented, quick-thinking and highly motivated, but also feeling miserable, frustrated and stressed.

It didn’t take much probing to discover that an out-of-date belief of “life has to be hard work” was causing much of the problem. And this person didn’t even realise they were running that belief… Fortunately getting it sorted was

A belief is like a filter in your mind. It impacts what you notice – what you’re aware of – how you experience life.

Not knowing how to handle your beliefs can lead to you feeling stuck and at the whim of life. If you have had enough of that and you’re ready to take back control, then the techniques in this article will help you move things to the next level. Are you ready to set yourself free?

What we believe is what we get.

Let’s use an example to illustrate this:

Imagine that Fred has been working on a report for his boss. He knows it’s a good report, but he also believes that his boss will criticise it and make him feel bad. After all, it has “always been that way”.

What kind of mood do you think Fred is in, when he goes into his boss’s office? That’s right – tense, nervous, a bit stressed, perhaps ready for a fight.Click here to share on FacebookHis boss reads the report and sees that it is really good. He and Fred have a discussion about it. The boss acknowledges the good stuff and makes one or two suggestions for improvement.

Instead of leaving the office feeling upbeat and motivated, how do you think Fred is feeling? That’s right – cross, hurt, annoyed and generally fed up. Why? Because his belief – the filter – didn’t spot the good feedback. He was looking for the criticism, so that’s all he experienced. He was looking for the criticism, so his mind filtered out the positive feedback and immediately started feeding stories around the bad bits – all tied in with how unfair his boss is.

Our beliefs are like choices that get stuck in time. Once we have made them, instead of setting us free, they close the doors to other choices. They limit other responses because they have such a major impact on our experience of life.

Another example:
It’s something that scientists and researchers, for example, struggle with all the time. I remember from my college days that even physical world research (conducting wear experiments on diesel engine exhaust valves!) was at risk of my beliefs.

And guess what impacted that interpretation?
You’ve got it: my beliefs – my hypothesis – about what the causes of the wear might be.

It took a “second opinion” in the form of my supervisor (who had different beliefs) to help me stay open-minded with the data, rather than dismissing the information that contradicted my theory.

But it’s not just the “bad beliefs” you need to watch out for!

It’s obvious to see how a “negative” belief can be limiting. But even a so-called “empowering belief” can restrict your choices. When things change, then that old empowering belief could hold you back from your growth and expansion! The empowering belief puts you in a box, just as much as a “negative” belief. The only difference is that the empowering belief has a longer shelf life, before it causes problems!

So if a “good” belief can do that, just imagine how much a “bad” one can do!

The great news is that we can change our limiting beliefs.

They’re far from being set in stone. Father Christmas, tooth fairies, the world being flat – beliefs can change.

And, if we’re on a path of personal growth, then spotting our beliefs and bringing them into our conscious awareness is a critical key for setting ourselves free from the auto-pilot programmes that most of us are running.

Every time you spot yourself reacting to something in a way that doesn’t make you feel good, chances are there’s a belief at play, that needs some attention. There are techniques we can use to dissolve away the old belief and choose more flexibility and freedom in our lives.

Click To Tweet This: Our beliefs impact what we expect. And what we expect is what we will see.

If you expect miracles, they will find you.
And giving gratitude for what you already have is one of the most effective ways to become a magnet for miracles.

Click To Tweet This: Beliefs, like clothes, were never intended to be worn forever. If they no longer fit, it’s time to say goodbye!

We pick up our beliefs from the most random of places – usually without even realising.

Sometimes we get them from our family or teachers, sometimes we pick them up from the media and our perception of society’s beliefs and expectations of us.

Wherever they come from, all beliefs have one thing in common:

Our beliefs either block or enable that which we want create in our lives.

How to handle a limiting belief?

One of the easiest techniques is simply to notice the problem and ask yourself:

“What is it I believe about this situation or this person? Is that the more resourceful belief I could hold?”
No? What could I choose to believe instead?

If you notice yourself doing, saying or thinking something that no longer “fits” for you today, all you need to do is catch yourself at this game and allow yourself to choose another option.Click here to share this on Facebook.

And if you really want to dive in and deal with some old, out-dated limiting beliefs, there are some ways you can make it easier for yourself:

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Have you ever spotted your beliefs holding you back? And if you get to play with today’s technique, which shifts did you notice?

How about sharing your experiences via the comments box. I’d love to hear from you.

And if you know someone who might appreciate a nudge, please do share this article with them!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Is Your Monkey Mind Telling You The Truth About Stress?

How To Change Your Life

{Hint: You’ll Want To Make Sure You’re Not Falling Into This Trap}

Have you noticed how your Monkey Mind (that little voice in your head – or maybe yours sits on your shoulder?) likes to tell stories about stress?

Even when you’re not feeling particularly stressed, if it spots a stress trigger, it uses it as an excuse to start up the story machine again.

And it likes labels. It likes to put things in boxes: “That’s a stressful thing. That’s a difficult thing. That’s a happy thing.” When the stuff is in boxes, it makes life easier for your Monkey Mind, because then it knows which auto-pilot scripts and old habitual behaviours to run.

But there’s a problem with all of this.

The problem is that we believe the stories our Monkey Mind tells us.

If it tells us something is a happy thing, we believe it. If it tells us that something is a difficult thing, we believe it. And we feed the thoughts that support those beliefs.

Life is an objective, sensory experience, until you label it and attach the event to a story.

As soon as we use a label or put an experience into a particular box, we lose our flexibility and choice over how to respond.

The experience gets automatically connected to your body’s chemistry set, triggering the hormones and chemical reactions that impact your physiology and emotions.

The label – the story – impacts every cell in your body, without you consciously doing a single thing about it.

But it’s all a fib, because:

Tweet this: ‘Life’ isn’t stressful. The stories we tell ourselves about life create the stress. It is believing your thoughts that causes the pain.

The phenomenon of ‘stress’ comes from believing the stories your mind is telling you about it. Yes, some events have the power to trigger more stress than others, but ultimately it’s up to us to choose how to experience life.

 

Is this really stressful? Or am I just telling myself it is?

Whether it feels stressful or not is up to you. You get to choose which stories to feed in your mind. You get to choose which to just let float on through.

Tweet this: You are the author of your own story. So you can choose which story to write.

I know the idea of ‘choosing’ might feel difficult – and even trigger a few rotten tomatoes being thrown at me down computer screens – but it is something you CAN do. In fact, there’s a technique I’d love to share with you that could help you in the next sixty seconds. Are you up for it?

Want A Solution?

How to get your Monkey Mind to tell the truth – and reclaim your choice – a 60 second mindfulness technique.

  1. Start with 3 Mindful Breaths, breathing in through your nose and breathing out with a tension-releasing ‘ahhh’ sound. This brings you back into the present moment and into your body.
  2. Say to yourself: “I choose to press ‘pause’ on the story.” And mean it. Wait for the gap to arrive.
  3. Ask yourself: “What is real in this situation?”
  4. Be firm with yourself. If stories and drama surface, press pause on them and ask yourself again what’s real.
  5. If you get stuck, go back to describing the physical sensory experience, e.g. “When my boss said I have to do a presentation next week, I noticed the pit of my stomach tensing up and I clenched my jaw.”
  6. Sensory descriptions bring you back to what’s real and helps you to drop the label-addiction.
  7. When you distil the situation back to the essence of the sensory experience, and let go of the labels and the stories, it always feels better.
  8. If you want to try out solutions to the problem, imagine them and ask yourself how they feel. Your body will tell you whether the solution creates physical sensations that feel worse or whether it brings genuine relief. It’s easier to make decisions, when you work with your body’s internal barometer.

Did you enjoy this technique? It’s really just the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more I’d love to share with you!

If stress is a feature of your daily life – and you’re feeling fed up with being stuck on an emotional rollercoaster, then you’ll love my 14 day “Master Your Emotions” programme. You could set yourself free from that emotional cycle in the next 14 days – in just 10 minutes a day.

Here’s where you can find out more and get started today: Master Your Emotions

How did you get on with this technique? What did you notice shifted, when you turned from ‘story’ to ‘body’? How might you remind yourself to play with this?

I’d love to hear from you, via the comments.

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Taming Your Monkey Mind…

And Turning Your Inner Critic Into Your Friend

Weekend Workshop with Clare Josa: 18th – 20th July 2014

If you have had enough of your inner critic making you feel miserable – and your Monkey Mind stressing you out – then this weekend workshop could be just what you’re looking for.

Over the 2 1/2 days (Friday evening through to Sunday afternoon), you’ll get to experience a gorgeous blend of practical psychology, meditation, yoga, deep relaxation and ancient wisdom, all specially designed to help you to:

  • discover the little-known secrets of how your Monkey mind works and why it does the crazy stuff it does – and what you can do about it

  • learn 3 practical strategies to help you to quieten a chattering mind, especially when it’s in negativity overdrive, so you can sleep better and feel happier

  • figure out how amazingly easy it can be to press the ‘reset’ button on your inner critic, to teach it to say things that make you feel great, instead of destroying your confidence

  • create your own personal toolkit of techniques to help you to de-stress, feel calmer and worry less, no matter what is going on around you, fast

  • get to the bottom of your Monkey Mind’s most annoying habit – the one that keeps most of us stuck feeling bad – and how to ask one simple question that’s like a magic wand to help you feel happier

  • and much, much more…

Interested?

If you have been looking for ways to FINALLY deal with your inner critic and to tame that chattering Monkey Mind, then this retreat could be just what you have been looking for.

When & Where?

It’s running from 8pm on Friday 18th July through to 4:30pm on Sunday 20th July 2014.

It’s a non-residential retreat (there are plenty of places to stay locally), near Forest Row in East Sussex, UK.

Your Guide

How Much Is It?

Not only do you get the full retreat programme, but you also get the following bonuses:

  • a pre-retreat ‘How To Change Your Life – Kickstart’ bonus training (online) – usually £37
  • all retreat materials and workbooks – usually £49
  • green smoothies, a delicious vegetarian lunch and break time refreshments on both days – worth over £60
  • CDs of the key meditations and visualisations from the weekend – usually £49
  • videos of the yoga asanas – usually £37
  • 3 months’ post-retreat gift membership of my Gold Soul-Sized Living programme: From Passion To Purpose – usually £180

I should be charging at least the same as my entry level mentoring programme – £497 – plus the bonuses, which would be a total of over £900.

However, I want to make this programme as accessible as I can – whilst still being able to deliver the quality and service you deserve.

So, if you register by 15th June, then the early bird price for this retreat and your bonuses is just £295.

If you register after 15th June, then the price is £395.

If you’re ready to make the commitment to your future that you have been dreaming of, then grab your place today!